Life After Death
by SheWhomLaughsLast
Summary: Sequel to The Secret House. Rape, break ups, fights, psychos, babies, hidden children, kidnappings, deaths and mobsters. Everything a good and yet horrible soap opera needs.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys! Welcome to the sequel of "The Secret House". Here's the first chapter. Hope you guys like it, I'm still working some stuff out but hopefully it comes together ok. There'll be major changes to some of the characters because of the events in story one and, if you've read TSH, you'll notice it right away. Just so everyone isn't completely alarmed and is like "WHAT THE FUN! HOLY MOTHER THERESA WHY!" because I know you will...cough cough You know who you are. **

**Chapter 1:**

_**Ashley**_

I sat beside Spencer who laid in the hospital bed, so many tubes and wires sticking out from her body, so many machines; feeding her, hydrating her, keeping her alive. If you could even call it that anymore. She wasn't Spencer, this Spencer was lifeless. Her hair didn't shine, her skin was pale, her body was bruised and she hadn't woken from her slumber in nearly four weeks. She looked more like a half human, half robot hybrid like an android from one of those Si-fi movies.

Spencer was dead for almost an hour before her body suddenly rebooted itself. She was conscious for only a few seconds before lapsing into a coma as the Doctors struggled to stabilize her. They said it was a miracle that her body hadn't already begun to deteriorate in the time that her body had shut down to the time that she woke up again.

The memory followed me, even though it was nearly a month ago...

_They wheeled Spencer away from me. I wanted to follow but the guard at the door said other wise_

It was nearly forty-five minutes later when the doctors came out looking defeated and depressed. The head surgeon came up to me where I was sitting beside Aiden and Kyla, pulling off the hair thing he wore and holding it in his hands nervously. I stood up and he looked down at me, giving me the speech I didn't want to hear.

"I'm so sorry." He began, his voice was deep and I'm sure it would've been soothing if not for the current situation. "Her wound was too great, she'd lost too much blood and there was so much vital organ damage that I'm amazed she made it this far. The bullet caused severe splintering of her ribs which punctured both lungs, her heart and diaphragm." I looked down as he put his hand on my shoulder "There was nothing we could do." I just tried not to break down again. I tried to be strong for Spencer. I wanted to keep her memory and remember the good times with her; the first time I saw her, our first kiss, the trip up to her cabin, the first time we'd spent the night together...

"Can I see her?" I sniffed and he nodded, leading all three of us down the corridor. Kyla held my blood encrusted hand as we went and I couldn't help the tears that rolled down my cheeks. I missed her so much already...I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing her ever again except in old pictures and the video we made, well Spencer made while we were at her cabin.

The surgeon pushed the doors open and we walked in. He shut the doors behind us and I stood there, beside my dead lover's body for a few seconds before my legs gave out under me. I clutched the bed in order to keep myself upright but sobbed openly at the sight of the girl who used to be Spencer.

The dress had been cut straight down the middle, exposing her in lacy underwear that she no doubt had worn for later that night. Blood was everywhere. It was caked to her skin and made her look like it was part of her skin in some places. Her eyelids were bruised and her skin was nearly snow white.

"Oh god Spence..." I whispered in a hard sob as I clutched the sheets under his with all my strength, which wasn't much right then and there. I took her hand in mine and gently pressed my lips to the soft skin and gently ran my fingers over her skin "I'm so sorry Spencer. I'm so sorry." A tear rolled off my cheek and onto her hand, cleaning some blood from her ill looking skin. There was a few seconds of silence before Spencer's eyes shot open and she gasped hard, arching off the bed and started coughing. "SPENCER!" I yelled with shock and slight excitement. I grabbed her face and forced her to lay back on the mattress, trying to stop her from hurting herself even more. I heard Aiden open the door and yelled for someone to help us.

I looked down at the girl who had been clutching my wrists tightly as she wheezed and coughed as her lungs strived for the air that hadn't been inside her body for nearly an hour. She was slowly fading back out as the team of doctors rushed back in and began prepping her and stabilizing her vitals. I was pulled back by someone as they began setting up the Iv and blood bag. And so began Spencer's new struggle to stay alive.

And now here I sat, four weeks later in a private hospital room I'd gotten for her as well as her own bathroom for when she woke up. I gently reached out and took her hand in mine, it was cooler than usual and she didn't return the small embrace.

"Spencer" I whispered, "Spencer please wake up. Please? You can't leave me. You can't." I pressed my lips to the hand that smelt of disinfectant, seeming completely different from the skin that used to smell like vanilla and honey. "Because without you...I can't—I need you. You're everything Spence. If you leave me now...I don't see how I can go on." I carefully climbed into the bed next to her and leaned my head against hers. I felt hopeless

"Spencer...I love you" I whispered, feeling like I was talking to myself. I'd finally said those three little words and it didn't have as much affect as I'd expected. It wasn't completely enlightening and there weren't angels singing or a holy light but I'd said them. And I meant it. A part of me knew Spencer couldn't hear what I'd said, That I was wasting my breath. That was, at least, until I heard the heart monitor make a little spastic noise and I looked up, the green line had jumped higher the normal for just one beat. I looked at her and pushed myself up into kneeling position just looking at the blonde.

"Spencer?" I asked pushing the hair back from her face. "Spencer can you hear me?" once again the spastic noise can and the candle of hope in my heart that had extinguished a week ago suddenly had a flicker of light. "Spencer listen to me ok? I know you're in there, and I know you're fighting or maybe you've given up." I straddled her waist carefully and gently put my hands on either side of her face, to get my message across better and stronger. The heart monitor beeped again, she was in there! Spencer was still there! This was so cliché, but so goddamn awesome!

I glanced at the heart monitor quickly before looking back to the beautiful girl who looked like she was sleeping, I couldn't help the stupid grin that spread across my face as I felt her muscles flexing ever so slightly under me. "But you'd better get your act together, because weather you know it or not I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, you stupid, heroic girl. So you'd better wake up Spencer Carlin. You'd better wake up and you'd better not leave me alone" the words came out a giddy rush.

A silent moment passed.

Spencer woke up.

**Spencer's POV:**

I was floating in the dark. In a place where I couldn't see, I couldn't hear and I couldn't feel. It was disorientating at first, this place was WAY different than the white clouds and bright lights bathed me. It felt like I was sleeping for a very long, long time. I wanted out. I wasn't tired anymore but I seemed to be unable to push myself out of the goddamn dark that surrounded me. I couldn't remember what had happened exactly...We were at prom...we were dancing...suddenly I was on the ground and there was blood everywhere. Then I was in a car...Ashley was there...Aiden and Kyla too...What the hell? God this doesn't make sense. I was trying to figure it out when i felt something.

There were a pair of soft lips pressed to my hand and I instantly knew who it was. _Ashley._ I thought with sudden hope. I could feel something and hear her soft breathing in the endless darkness. She's next to me in the bed, her skin is touching mine.

"_Spencer...I love you"_ the voice echoed in my head and for a second my heart slammed painfully against my ribs. Wait...pain! I could feel pain! This was amazing! But horribly sad at the same time. Who thought that I'd be happy to be in pain? Even if it was sweet pain like this.

Beep

What the hell was that? Jesus, Ashley said she loved me (!) and the next thing I hear is beep? Wow...this is one screwed up dream. I swear if MJ appears with back up dancers and the thriller music...I may need psychological help.

_"Spencer? Spencer can you hear me?_" Wait wait wait hold up now. This isn't a dream is it? Those are actually her hands on my face right? So I'm not sleeping? Then what the frack is with the dark stuff? That doesn't matter now. My heart punched my ribs hard again and I could feel her straddle my waist. I wanted so badly to move but my muscles would answer my calling properly and just twitched.

I didn't catch what she said next, the echoing distorted it too much but the next thing she said I heard loud and clear.

"_But you'd better get your act together, because weather you know it or not I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, you stupid, heroic girl. So you'd better wake up Spencer Carlin. You'd better wake up and you'd better not leave me alone"_

There was a quiet moment before my eyes opened and everything was just a big white blur. I blinked a few times as shapes began to form, I couldn't see much of anything still. God, being in a deep dark hole for forever can really screw with your eye sight. Everything was doubled for moment which was even more disorientating and then in a few seconds everything snapped to. I saw the beautiful brunette straddling my waist and her ecstatic smile that always made my heart flutter. I was home. Extremely thirsty but I was home. I saw tears rolling down her cheek and couldn't understand...

**Ashley's POV:**

"Ash?" She croaked and blinked a few times, I could see her pupils dilating and shrinking as they got used to the light "Ash why are you crying?" and I didn't answer. I only pressed my lips to hers, over whelmed by the relief that washed over me like a tidal wave. She kissed me back just as passionately, if not a little clumsy but to be expected after not using her muscles in four weeks, resting her hands on my thighs as I pressed the button for a nurse to come in and I dismounted her quickly hearing the woman enter.

"Look who's awake!" She smiled brightly at Spencer who blushed slightly, god how I've missed the rose colour... "I'll just go get the doctor" she said before shuffling off down the corridor. I help Spencer's hand and she pressed it to her lips gently

"did you mean it?" She asked me and I looked at her for a moment

"Mean what?"

"When you said that you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" before I had a chance to answer the doctor came in. The same surgeon who had announced Spence's death held a clip board in his hand and walked in, seeing Spencer alive and well.

"So Ms. Carlin, seems as if you're doing well. A lot better than when you first arrived here." He smiled warmly and she smiled timidly "I don't think you'll be needing these anymore" He said unhooking various machines from her body and pulling the needles out of her skin. She cringed slightly and I couldn't help but giggle. Spencer was back!

**Tell me what you guys think! Remember that thing about reviews I said in the first story? Yeah, still applies here folks! Just let me know what you think about it! Ideas you have, thoughts, questions, tip whatever you want. I'm sorry for all the screwed up things in this story grammar wise or just a sentence that sounds weird... I'm workin on it!**

**Your reviews + Me = happiness/good story fun times!**


	2. Jello

**Hey Guys! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews telling me how much you love my story! And about how awesome you think Spencer and Ashley are together. Thanks also to all the FanFic Ninjas (yes I've named you) who read but don't let me be aware of your existence, at least you read and (hopefully) love. **

**Chapter 2:**

_**Ashley**_

"I think you'll be just fine." The doctor finished putting his clips board down "Let's help you into a bath now shall we?" and Spencer rolled towards me carefully, wrapping her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist to take all her awkward weight. She hopped out of bed and instantly I could feel that she was off balance.

"It's ok Spence" I said and carefully moved towards the bathroom on the far side of the room. I'm sure the doctor could've moved her easily but she was wearing one of those paper gowns and I wasn't big on having him pick her up when she was pretty much naked. "One step at a time baby, one step at a time." I murmured in her ear and she nodded awkwardly before we finally reached the fairly large room. There was a Jacuzzi in the corner and it was equipped with a sink, toilet all that fun stuff.

I turned on the water and let it fill a little bit before I helped the girl out of her gown. The bullet hold had healed fine but was still a small pink bump on her chest; it looked a hell of a lot better considering before it looked like someone had stabbed her with a pole. I carefully eased her down into the water, hoping to make this less painful than need be.

"You ok Spence?" I asked and she nodded trying to hide how much pain she was in. She still had a fair amount of internal bruising and her ribs were still healing but other than that she was fine. "Baby it's ok, just take your time." She nodded again and with her arms wrapped around my neck I carefully craned her down into the warm water. She sat there for a second before relaxing slowly, trying to lay back in the water.

I kneeled by the tub and rested my chin against the cool ceramic siding. Aw screw it.

"Spencer lean forward ok?" she looked at me like I was nuts but obliged and I carefully slipped in the water behind her, letting her rest back into me. It would make it easier for her if I helped her wash up. I turned on the hand shower thing and began rinsing her hair before I massaged the shampoo in. I felt her relax into me slowly as I began rinsing the golden locks with the warm water. "I missed you so much" I whispered and pressed my lips to her forehead when she leaned back into me. She smiled slightly, looking sleepy

"I missed you too." I heard her breathe hoarsely "Can we go home?" she asked looking up and me and I just looked back down into her beautiful, ocean eyes

"As soon as your parents have come and gone." I murmured and felt her tense. She hadn't seen her mom in a month and hadn't seen her father in more than three months. Today was the day they'd visit her and the day that anything could happen. Arthur and Paula had been to a marriage councillor for years after getting hitched. Paula's disliking to Spencer's sexuality hadn't helped much either, and her recent escapade with Captain Anti-Gay had made things much worse.

We got out of the bath and she dried off quickly before I dressed her in some scrubs instead of the gown thing she was wearing previous to now. I donned the horribly strange get up and She looked at me and wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me close and I returned her embrace

"I'm glad you're ok Ashley" she whispered and I just smiled against her neck a laid a kiss on the soft skin.

My voice was choked with emotion "I'm glad you're still here." She looked at me a brushed the tears away tenderly.

"Me too Ash."

Her parents showed up about half an hour later, Spencer and I were sitting in the bed together and I was trying to convince Spencer to eat the jell-o.

"Spencer come on. Just eat it"

"no. I want something that's solid. This is bull crap."

"You can't have solid food right now Spence. Your stomach can't handle it yet." She grumbled something that I didn't understand and started eating the giggling green square. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Why are you always so stubborn?" she just smirked at me and continued eating. She finished a few minutes later and wrapped her arm around me holding me closer. I placed my head on her shoulder and hugged her waist. We laid there together for about ten minutes before a small knock on the door made us look up.

Paula stood there with Arthur, looking fairly pissed and uncomfortable but Arthur just looked relieved that his daughter was ok.

Paula didn't say a word the entire time they visited. Even when Arthur was hugging Spence she didn't come more than three feet to us. They didn't bring up Glen. And I'm glad. I don't think Spencer could handle that right now, knowing that she'd killed her brother even if it was to save my life.

They left after about an hour and Spencer and I left at the same time, heading back to my house. Kyla and Aiden were waiting there for me and the sleepy girl who walked with me awkwardly.

"Spencer!" Kyla squealed like a school girl and rushed over to Spencer wrapping her in a tight but careful hug. Spence returned it to the best of her ability and then was hugged by Aiden.

"It's good to see you up and moving Spence."

"Thanks Aiden" she said and we all helped her up the stairs and towards our room.

"Watch that step Spence!"

"Careful getting up!"

"Hunter get out of the way!" Kyla yelled as the Dog bounded around Spencer, he'd grown quite a lot in the past month and was nearly as big as Kyla standing up. We finally made it to the bedroom and Spencer flopped down on the bed with an exhausted sigh. I snickered and climbed up next to her and we both just laid there, staring up and the ceiling. There was loud barking and Kyla's yelling for the mastiff pup to shut up. He of course wouldn't listen. I taught him well.

"Hey Ashley?" Spencer asked tilting her head slightly towards me

"Yeah Spence?"

"Why do you do all these things for me?" I was silent for a second, thinking. I knew the answer right away but I didn't understand why Spencer would ask me that now.

"Because I love you?" I said in tone that voiced my own question.

"Well, yes I know that but I mean you brought me into your house. You bought me like a million dollar dress, and you shelled out for my private room." She carefully rolled over so she laid half on top of me and watched me curiously. "I feel like I'm being a gold digger." She mumbled and I chuckled, pushed her hair from her pouting face. I know she was serious but I'd never expected Spencer of all people to say she was a gold digger.

"Because you're my gold digger." I said with a cheeky smile but she didn't seem to find it as funny as I did and simply put her forehead on my shoulder.

"I'm serious Ash. I don't like thinking that you feel as if you have to buy me all this stuff to keep me around. I don't think I should stay here anymore" she grumbled and I froze, instantly saddened by the thought of not waking up with Spencer beside me and sleeping without her in my arms.

"Aw Spencer don't say that." I mumble and run my fingers through the soft hair on her head. "You're not a gold digger. You're just a girl with a shitty family and a really awesome girlfriend who'd give you the world if that's what you wanted. So stop being so down in the dumps ok?" she nodded hesitantly and I could tell the whole me giving her everything she needs thing still made her feel guilty.

"Can I have solid food?"

"Nope. The doctor said soup and maybe a few pieces of chicken in it. But you can have ice cream, popsicles, and jell—"

"Do not say the last part Ash. Don't finish your sentence."

"O" She groaned loudly and wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face in my hair.

"You suck"

"I know"

**Da da da da! I hope you guys like happy times and butterflies because...this is where shit gets crazy. Yes I'm throwing you back into the not-so-happy moments in Spashley's existence. And yes, you are going to hate me. No preview this time, I still gotta figure things out. **


	3. Nightmares

**Hey! I've decided to try and throw a poem in here every now and then, if I can find one that fits the chapter in the story.**

**Chapter 3**

_**Ashley**_

_Nightmare_

_Fall to sleep_

_In my bed_

_Lover's comfort next to me_

_Hope for restful night_

_But as eyes close _

_And _

_Mind wanders_

_Evil seeks revenge_

_Lover's comfort disappears _

_And _

_Monster's teeth sink in_

_Sending spiralling into oblivion_

_Where hellish creatures sin_

_Dawn Breaks._

_Thrown to reality_

_And_

_Away from Monster's jaws_

_Only safe for moments_

"_Safety" is full of flaws._

_Because Monster feels no time_

_And _

_Sneers with horrible teeth_

_Monster can wait forever_

_To haunt you in your sleep_

_Poem by A. M. Hofer._

Spencer and I crawled into bed fairly early. It'd been a long month for us both, though she'd been unconscious for most of it. We crawled under the down quilt and Spencer automatically snuggled her way into my arms, wrapping her own around my mid stomach and resting her head against my chest as we laid on our sides. I smiled to myself and kissed the top of her head before resting my cheek on her head. I'd missed the way she felt in my arms. How perfectly our bodies fit together, like pieces of a jig saw puzzle.

_**Spencer**_

I folded into Ashley's arms perfectly. I'd missed the way she smelt, how amazing her aroma was. It was like home. Well...I guess it was home considering I don't really have one at this point in time. Besides the whole being asleep for a month I was completely wiped. I mean drop dead exhausted. And pulled against Ash's body, wearing my comfortable baggy T-shirt and boxers I fell quickly into a restful sleep.

Oh how I wish.

I sat in a dark room with TV's all around me. All of them off and I was wearing a blue dress. I thought it was familiar. This was the same dress Ashley bought me for prom...huh. This was getting weird. I sat on the cold floor just looking at the TV's with confusion. I couldn't see anything until one small, old and outdated TV on the top left hand corner.

"Now's your chance Spencer" another TV turned on

"Now's your chances Spencer" Another turned on

"Now's your chance Spencer" they rapidly turned on, one after another so fast that the message didn't even play clearly and Glen was talking over himself.

"I can't kill her!" I heard my own voice cry and I stood up from where I was sitting. What was that in my hand? It was black and...oh no. I just watched the TV with horror, feeling sick to my stomach but unable to turn away.

"Spencer?" Ashley asked as she appeared on the screen with Aiden and Kyla. I could see tears rolling down my own cheeks as I yelled at Aiden to get them out of there. Aiden and Kyla struggled with Ashley and Glen looked at the me standing in that dark room, lit with just the gentle glow of all the TVs. His face was twisted with anger and hatred

"You should have done the right thing Spencer" and he pointed the gun at Ashley. At the exact same time TV me and I both screamed

"NO!" and TV me stepped in front of him, gun trained on his forehead. I stared at my blurry image on some screens and nauseously sharp image on the others. Two loud bangs when off and I felt something leak down my chest, inbetween my cleavage and down my stomach, staining the blue velvet as it went; turning it a muddy purple.

With a shaky hand I touched the blood oozing from the hole in my chest, exactly where the pink scar had been in the waking world. I rubbed the slippery crimson between my fingers before feeling my body go weak and I staggered back. The screen went to black before Glen's face appeared on each and every one of them, a cruel and twisted expression slowly distorting his features.

"You're going to burn Spencer. You're going to burn in hell for what you've done! You and that Ashley whore!" each of his words sliced into my flesh, carving words into my skin with an invisible knife and causing more blood to spill from my body. "I'm going to kill her Spencer! I'm going to take her away from you!"

I walked backwards into the far wall, blood was now trickling down my legs and pooling at my feet. There were too many cuts to try to clot, too many words marking me to stop the bleeding. I couldn't save her, I was too weak, I'd lost too much blood. And he knew it. Glen's face laughed manically, like a mad man. His flesh fell from the bones and his eyes fell from their sockets. I managed to find my voice. I screamed.

_**Ashley**_

Spencer rocketed from bed like a bat out of hell. She leapt from the covers, over the end of the bed and crashed hard to the ground, a loud scream echoing from her throat. I obviously jumped in shock and instantly ran to my lover, pulling her into my arms and making her look at me. Her eyes were blood shot and hear cheeks were flooded with tears as she cried hysterically.

"Spencer!" I cried and pushed the hair from her face as it got stuck to the drops trickling down her face. "Oh my god Spencer what's wrong? What happened?" I heard Kyla's drowsy but hurried steps coming towards us, along with the clacking of Hunter's claws.

"Ashley can you—Spencer!" Kyla yelled and kneeled in front of us her hair dishevelled and her face made it obvious she'd been sleeping deeply. I sat down and pulled the younger girl into my lap, holding her close as she hid her face in her knees still crying uncontrollably.

"Spencer baby it's ok." I whispered and pressed my lips to the top of her head

"I killed him" she whispered in a broken sob "I killed my brother...He-he'd tried to kill you though...he'd wanted to hurt you again. I c-couldn't let him..." she just wrapped her arms around me and cried openly onto my bare, other than a bra, chest. I looked over at Kyla and she had a look of understanding in her eyes. She got up and grabbed the phone from the cradle and handed it to me.

I pressed the numbers quickly and held the phone to my ear as it rang. After about three rings someone picked up, their voice filled with sleepy disgruntlement.

"Hello?"

"Mr. C?" I said and held Spencer closer to me "It's Ashley Davies" I looked at Kyla again who nodded to me with encouragement, I couldn't help the emotion that filled my voice as the girl I loved sat in my lap in unimaginable pain. "We need your help."

**Bah bah bah...poor Spence...I'm just so mean to the characters all the time. Any whozer**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Spencer gets help with her nightmares, Ashley gets a record deal and shit gets crazy.**


	4. Call Me Ethan

**Hey, sorry there was no update yesterday. I had a hectic day and blah blah blah.**

**Chapter 4:**

_**Ashley**_

"I'm on my way Ashley" Mr. C responded, not even bothering to ask what was going on. He must've been able to hear how desperate I was. How much I needed his help.

"Spencer it's going to be fine ok? Your dad's coming and we're going to help you with this ok? It's going to be ok." I really couldn't tell who I was trying to convince, me or her. I was scared. I mean terrified that Spencer was so broken and crumpled in my arms just from a nightmare. It was more than that, my mind finally registered, she'd just completely remembered what happened at prom. She'd just remembered that she'd killed her brother, even if he was a malicious, homophobic bastard. Glen was her flesh and blood. Her biological brother and she'd put a bullet between his eyes.

Mr. C showed up around 4 in the morning and Spencer and I were still on the floor in our bedroom. I was still cradling her against my chest rocking her gently back and forth as she sniffled and occasionally whimpered. Kyla went to get the door when he arrived and I could hear her feet pidder pattering down the stairs, Hunter following her like the protective puppy he was.

"Spence your dad's here." I told her softly and she just hid her face against my neck like she was afraid. "Spencer your dad won't hurt you." She shook her head

"He's going to hate me"

"Spencer he already knows about...you know. Remember he came to see you in the hospital, he still loves you Spence."

"He can't."

"I do" a tall, dark haired man said, appearing in the door way with Kyla and then kneeling in front of his broken daughter, "Spencer I could never stop loving you. You're my daughter. You're my little girl." She looked up at him with her red puffy eyes and sniffed as he pulled her into his arms.

"But I killed Glen, Dad." She started crying again as they moved apart. I gently rubbed her shoulder as she tried to hide her tears

"Glen died a long time ago Spence." He said and gently squeezed her arm and brushed the hair from her face "All of those drugs he'd taken changed him. He wasn't your brother anymore Spencer. He wasn't my son either." She nodded slowly, obviously not convinced in what her father was telling her. Anyone could see how much the girl in front of him meant. How much love that father held for his offspring. I couldn't help the tiny ping of jealousy that stabbed me. I can't even begin to express in words how much I wish my father was there for me while I was growing up. But instead he left me with my Satan of a mother and like five billion different nannies.

Mr. C looked at me and I could tell from his eyes that he was thankful I'd been here for Spencer. Thankful that I'd taken care of her when he wasn't there to protected her from Glen and Paula. He held his daughter as the confused, tired and heartbroken girl rested her had against his chest and her arms around him. We didn't need any words in that moment, none of us did. Spencer's Father knew I'd protect Spencer with my life if the time ever came. I could see the endless love for the child he'd nearly lost and I'm sure he could see the burning passion for his daughter that I could feel in my own eyes.

At that moment, Spencer was the world.

We managed to get Spencer to calm down enough and everyone moved to the TV room and we put on a movie. Aiden came over a few minutes after, Kyla had called him after Spencer was ok again, and joined us upstairs. Aiden and Kyla shared the love seat and Mr. C sat on one end of the couch while I sat on the other, Spencer's head in my lap and her legs draped over Mr. C's. I gently stroked her hair and planted a small kiss on her forehead as she slept peacefully.

I could feel Mr. C's eyes on me, watching me care for his daughter and I could feel his appreciation for the fact that I did care for her so much.

Mr. C found a therapist for Spencer to see to help her with the dreams and to cope with the Glen situation. I had gotten a call from a guy named Ethan who was interested in starting a record deal with me the same day, so I wouldn't be able to go. I wanted to cancel it. I wanted to go with Spencer but she assured me that this was a big deal and I should go, that I didn't have to worry because Mr. C and her brother Clay would go with her. I reluctantly agreed, wanting to be there for Spencer but at the same time wanting to make my dad proud by hopefully releasing an album...God I have such an amazing girlfriend.

Monday rolled around almost too quickly, three days had passed and Spencer hadn't slept at all. And when Spencer can't sleep, I don't either. She would whimper in the dark when she thought I'd passed out I could feel the bed shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably every time we went to bed. Not only was she never resting but there was visible change in her; from her attitude to her physical appearance. Her hair had gone from a golden blonde to more of a darker shade of gold and her eyes had darkened from an ocean-y blue to more of a midnight blue. She was more outgoing, she kept her feeling hidden behind sarcasm or just blatant disinterest...Spencer was changing. And the change was rapid.

"her baby" I said as I walked towards her in the TV room, she read some magazine I'd probably never heard of before. Obviously tabloid, she looked disgruntled about what she was reading. I plopped down beside her and looked over at the page she read. In big bold letters it said "Where's Spencer?" there were pictures of me outside the hospital, sitting in the courtyard. I remembered that day too, it was almost two weeks after Spencer lapsed into a coma and it was the first time I'd gone outside since the shooting. I stayed in her room all day every day and slept on the cot that a nurse set up for beside Spencer. There were pictures of Aiden and pictures of Clay, Chelsea and Terry walking into the hospital.

Spencer looked at me in disbelief "They think I've been hit by a truck! Or raped, or attacked by a bear!" I just smiled slightly and kissed the blonde's cheek.

"Welcome to Celebrity world." She smiled at me and captured my lips with hers before pulling away when Clay called from the bottom floor

"Spence! We gotta go!" I looked at the girl with a frown.

"Spencer I really think I should be going with you. I mean, this is important—" She rolled her eyes and cut me off

"Ash look at me." I did, taking in every breath taking detail "I don't need you to baby-sit me. I'm fine ok? Besides, if you blow this guy Ethan off you might not get another chance. I want you to be happy Ashley. You shouldn't have to suffer with me." She kissed me again, gently cupping my face in her hand. "I love you"

"I love you too." I whispered and gently ran my fingers through her hair. "Call me as soon as you get out Spencer ok? I mean the very second you're done alright?" she just rolled her eyes again

"Yeah ok mom." And as I watched her leave the room, I had a really bad feeling that Spencer would never be the same again...

I looked at the time "Shit!" It was nearly ten thirty and I had to be down town at eleven. I ran to the car and hopped in, flooring it almost all the way to the studio. I pulled into the parking lot wearing my almost signature styled outfit (A/N: I really shouldn't need to explain, We've all gawked over her in the third season) and walked into the office, fixing my bangs before the secretary came up. She was pretty, she had blonde hair and blue eyes but not nearly as blue as Spencer's, thin frame, and wore some designer brand I couldn't name at that moment.

"Hello, welcome to Bradshaw records. How may I help you?" She asked politely sitting down in her chair. Bradshaw records? This guy owned the company. Great.

"I'm Ashley Davies? Here to see Ethan?" she looked down at the day timer on her desk for a second, scanning the page to try and find my name. She looked up for a second, studying me before looking back down.

"Ah yes! Here you are, go right in" she said with a warm smile and motioned to the big mahogany doors that read "Ethan Bradshaw: CEO" I breathed deeply and tried not to freak out. He was just a guy, just another human being and I shouldn't be all weird and freaked. But I was. There were butteries the size of birds beating the hell out of my stomach and I fiddled nervously with my fingers before opening the heavy solid door and walking in.

_Let's do this for Spencer, Let's do this for Spencer, let's do this for...oh hello! _My inner voice sudden changed as I saw who sat behind the desk in the well furnished room. A guy about two or three years older than me, chiselled jaw, five o'clock shadow and messy longish wavy hair. Sunglasses covered his eyes as he smiled cockily at me. It was obvious that he was way over self confident. Maybe even a little self absorbed.

But my new found lesbianism seemed to disappear or just burry itself deep. Because I could feel my heart stuttering and beating irregularly. I had to tell myself that I was with Spencer now. That I couldn't go around chasing boys anymore. That Spencer meant too much. But my heart wasn't hearing it, or it ignored me because Ethan stood up and walked over to me, a friendly smile replacing his smirk and he held his hand out to me.

"Ms. Davies! It's great to finally meet you in person" I shook his hand and I didn't think about how strong it felt, how smooth his skin was. No I didn't think about the way I could feel his eyes trailing my body and I didn't think about how it made my skin tingle.

"It's good to meet you too Mr. Bradshaw." I said formally and he just chuckled

"Call me Ethan" I just nodded nervously and sat down in the arm chair in front of his desk. "How's Spencer?" He asked and that shook me. _Spencer..._

"I'd much rather we keep this professional." I said, though in my heart I know I really wanted to mean it but I didn't. His cocky smirk came back and he just nodded once

"Whatever you want Ms. Davies" I couldn't stop the small shiver running up my spine. We talked business for a few hours and decided that it'd be best to continue tomorrow or the next day, we really didn't get very far. He and I couldn't agree on anything if our lives depended on it.

"Ashley I do strongly urge you to take the deal I've offered." I just breathed deeply trying center myself. Ethan was amazing. He was funny, he was sweet, he was just the perfect guy he made my heart pound in my chest.

"I'm sure you do Ethan." I said with a coy smile "But then again, I've got to look out for my best interest" He stood up and walked around the desk, sitting on the side closest to me.

"You've also got to know that I can tell you what's best for you Ash. That I can take care of you too." I knew he wasn't talking about the record deal and I stood up and headed for the door. I wanted him.  
I wanted him so bad. "Ashley" He said, grabbing my arm and turning me around "I can take care of you" and he pressed his lips to mine tenderly. He cupped my face before letting go and stepping back.

I stood there in shock for a few seconds, I had kissed him back and I'd liked it. I turned around and shut the door behind me before walking to my car. What's happening to me?

**Sorry if the hetero romance thing was off…I'm trying I swear!**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Ashley is trying to figure things out in her life and Spencer is oblivious with all the physical exercise her therapist suggests she does in order to deal with everything. Ethan wont back off and Kyla get suspicious.**


	5. The NutCracker

**Hey, Thanks for the reviews people! You guys are awesome, and yes I don't like the Ethan thing either but I've got the entire story planned out in my head so just relax. I need him to introduce another character and another plot line. You'll hate him but you'll love what happens. Just revel in the Drama. You know you want to.**

**Chapter 5**

_**Spencer**_

Clay, Dad and I all waited in...well...the waiting room. We sat in those weird padded seats that no matter how much you squirmed or twisted you could never find a comfortable position. Then, WORSE than the stupid chairs, they had elevator music playing. I mean like "I believe I can fly" but no instruments, not singing, just like a stupid little trumpet or something playing one note at a time and all choppy like who ever had been playing had to take a breath every damn second. There was a mural on the opposite wall to where I was sitting and I just stared at the picture. It was all out of focus and looked like a dandelion but when they release their seed things; you know, when you blow on the puffy white ball and the little seed things fly away. Yeah one of those things.

I'm sure the surroundings were meant to be pleasant and calming but it just made me angry and frustrated. I could pick up on every single sound in the entire room and it was driving me mental. I could hear the lady at the desk click her pen and then scribble something on the paper in front of her, I could hear the little boy a few seats away from us biting his nails and his mother flip the page of her book. I could hear Clay whisper over me and to my father as I slouched in my chair, wincing when I moved the wrong way and tweaked something. This place was like hell. Like Satan thought "I SHALL DOOM SPENCER CARLIN FOR ETERNITY ON EARTH!" Insert maniacal laughter here. It was ridiculous and stupid and hated it even though I'd only been sitting there for about twenty minutes at the most.

"Hey dad?" I whispered and he leaned towards me as I carefully pushed myself up into sitting position. "Do we have to do this? I mean I can handle this thing myself. I don't need some crazy doctor to psycho analyze me." He just looked at me and stroked my cheek

"Spencer I'm worried about you. You've been through things a teenagers should never have to, I just want to make sure you're ok." I looked at him and frowned. I hate doctors. I hate waiting rooms. I hate white puffy dandelions.

"Spencer Carlin?" the assistant called out , entering my private hell through big wooden doors and holding a clip board in her hands. Oh yeah and everything and everyone here looked so professional. Everything was clean, the door's had golden colour handles and engraved plates on each door. Everyone working here wore suits or blazers, carried brief cases, and all the females had their hair in neat buns. I had the feeling that if I got dirt on the floor alarms would go off and a disinfectant squad in Bio-suits would run out.

"That's us!" Dad said standing up with Clay and both of them helped me get out of the stupid chair without hurting myself. Even they wore almost formal attire. Glen wore a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and slacks, dad wore something similar and I wore jeans, tank top, sneakers and a jacket that only covered half of my stomach. I resisted the urge to sigh, finally realising how much I stood out in this place and followed the assistant. We went through the big doors, down one hell of a hall way and to the doors at the very end of the corridor. Holy crap.

That door is where the top-notch therapist's office is. Where the head-honcho of this entire OCD operation had their desk and weird bed/couch thing. We neared the door and I read the fairly large gold plate on the wall beside the entrance. It was covered with PHD's and awards I didn't understand but the only thing I DID get was the name and title

_Diane Kuttz_

_Head of Physiological Therapy _

I looked at my dad with an "Are you shitting me?" expression and he just shrugged. Diane was apparently a close friend of his but I'd never met her before. We walked into the AMAZINGLY well furnished office with leather couches, a GIANT fish tank, mahogany desk, a view of the entire city, deep red wooden floor. If I'd just randomly walked in here I'd think it was an apartment.

"Hello Arthur" said a middle aged woman, her auburn hair in bun, brown eyes, and of course wearing a female version of a suit.

"Hello Diane" My dad replied and wrapped his arms around her in a friendly hug. She looked at Clay and held her hand out

"You must be Clay" my brother took her hand and shook it with a firm grip

"It's good to finally meet you Ms. Kuttz" he said like the good boy scout he was and she smiled at him warmly. She looked at me finally and her eyes were calculating as she observed me closely.

"You must be Spencer" she said kindly and warmly but didn't offer her hand. I probably wouldn't have taken it anyway. "Please come, sit down." We all moved towards the big leather couch "can I get you anything? Water? Pop?"

"I'll have a water please" Both Clay and my father said but I kept quiet. I didn't say anything nor did I smile as my brother and father did. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to talk to some shrink. I could handle my own problems. She could feel the hostility that I was putting out and went to get the water. My father gave a me a discouraging look, obviously wanting me to open up and be friendly to her.

"I don't want to talk to the head of the nut-case department. I don't want to spill my guts to the head nut-cracker herself."

"I prefer to be called Ms. Nut-cracker." She said, having come back from the kitchen thing in her office with two bottles of water in her hand and that damn smile on her face. I didn't fidget, I didn't once falter under her gaze. "So Spencer" she said lightly under handing the bottles to my family members "Why don't you want to walk to me?" she asked sitting on the desk

"Because I don't need help. What's going on in my life is my problem and mine alone."

"What about Ashley? Is she included in your life?" I just stared at her for a moment and then turned on my father

"You told her?" I snarled and he raised his hands in an "I didn't do it" act and she just chuckled slightly, holding up the magazine from the night of the HnD charity telethon

"I didn't need to be told anything Spencer. The tabloids keep me caught up with everything going on in the world. Including your relationship with Ashley. I just glared at her.

"You don't know the first thing about my relationship with Ashley" I challenged, nearly stepping out of my seat to make a point. "I don't care what you read in the damn tabloids. Have you read about how I've been hit by a car? Or how I've been raped in the woods? It's all a load of bull—"

"I never said it wasn't." She said sternly. I'd obvious been pushing her and pushing her and now I'd broken through her good girl act. "What happened at prom?" I felt my heart falter

" I don't want to talk about it" I growled and she wasn't hearing me

"Close your eyes and focus" I did as I was told, I could remember a small portion though I know I've dreamt about it every night but when I try to remember I get pulled to a screeching halt. Like an invisible wall and I can't find a way around it.

"I can't remember everything" I finally said truthfully. "I can't remember anything past Ashley and I dancing." She nodded, the infuriating smile coming back

"I'd like to try some hypnotism if you'd let me, just to push past those mental barriers your mind set up."

"Mental barriers?" Clay asked and Kuttz nodded

"When we experience something traumatic or emotionally scaring our mind can set up blocks to protect itself, which can result in memory loss. But by using hypnotism we can bypass the barriers and unlock memories that we otherwise wouldn't be able to understand or remember." She walked over to a drawer and pulled it open, taking out a pocket watch. This is where I stood up

"Oh come on! You've got to be kidding me! No way in hell." Dad opened his mouth to try and reason with me but Diane interrupted

"ok" she put the watch down and My Dad looked at her

"What do you mean ok?"

"Arthur... It's not a good idea to force a girl like Spencer" she looked at me " in her situation into something she is not ready for." For the first time I felt a small spark of gratitude toward the Nut-Cracker. I wasn't ready. Hell, I don't think I'll ever be ready. She walked over to her desk and grabbed a sheet of paper and handed it to me.

"What the hell is this?" I asked in the most...polite way possible

"It's a list of activities. Sports that I think would be beneficial to you coping with your nightmares." I just blinked at her. Sports? ME playing sports? What the hell was she smoking? "It'll help you work out any anger or frustration I know you're experiencing." I nodded slowly still processing the idea. Maybe it would work out. I guess it'd help, you know...Softball sounds pretty cool. I looked at the Nut-cracker and nodded again

"Thanks."

"no problem."

Dad drove me back to Ashley's place, all the time lecturing me on how I should've been more polite yada yada yada blah blah blah. We pulled into the driveway and I kissed his cheek and jumped out off the car and jogged up to the door. I opened it and walked into the mansion and felt weird about doing it. I mean, Ashley had taken me in when I was having problems and I had nowhere else to go. But now...now I don't have to stay here. And I would kind of like to move out. Not that I don't like Ashley, I mean I love her, but the whole living with her thing...I just I dunno, I don't think I'm ready yet. I mean this is the first serious relationship and I don't want to scare Ash off.

"Ash?" I called walking though the top floor and found her with her dad watching TV. They both looked up when I neared and I froze "Oh, Mr. Davies, I'm sorry I didn't know you were here. I...I'll just get going" I said turning around

"Carlin" Raife said standing up off the couch and walking over to me, wrapping his arms tightly around me in a huge bear hug. I awkwardly hugged him back, caught off guard. "Thank you so much!" he smiled widely at me and clapped me on the shoulder.

"Erm...for what?"

"For saving Ashley! You saved my little girl!" I froze and looked over at Ashley who wouldn't meet my eyes.

"It was nothing really." I muttered and he just laughed like I'd made a joke.

"You're alright Carlin. You're alright"

Mr. Davies hung around for an hour of two before he had to head off on tour again.

"See you Mr. Davies" I said while we walked to the door. Ashley had barely said anything the entire time and it was weird for her to be so quiet.

"Good bye Spencer!" he said again and wrapped his arms around me again and kissed the top of my head. "Thank you again" he shut the dor and I turned to look at Ashley

"Why didn't you call?" she asked and I looked at her. She looked serious and worried and confused

"I know I was supposed to Ash. I know but my Dad lectured me about how I should be more polite to the Nut-Cracker"

"Nut-Cracker?"

"The therapist" She smiled cutely

"Oh my Spencer! Were you rude to the shrink?" I looked down in sarcastic guilt

"Maybe..."

"Aw...little Spencer's a pissed off, angst filled teenager" I smiled at her words and she walked over to me and pressed her lips to mine. I smiled as she pushed me up against the wall, her hands on either side of my body, baring me from escape as she continued her assault on me. She ran her fingers under the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head so I stood there in only my bra and jeans. Her hands rested on the small of my back and she pulled me closer to her.

"Ash" I said pulling away for a second, only to have her attack my neck pressing her lips to my pulse point. "Ash the phone's ringing." She just growled and nipped at my skin. I chuckled and pulled her lips back to mine, feeling glad that one thing in my life was almost back to normal.

_**Kyla**_

"I GOT IT!" I yelled from the top of the stairs and could see my sister all over my other "Sister" and gagged. That my good friends, is something that should be saved for times when little sisters are not in the same building. I answered the phone on the last ring "Davies residence"

"Ash?" a guy asked and I was shocked for a small moment, expecting either Aiden or Ashley's Mc Bitch mom. I'd never met this guy before

"Uh no she's..." I heard a quiet "oh Spencer" from down stairs and repressed my urge to purge "busy. Can I take a message?" He just chuckled a little bit

"Uh yeah just tell her that Ethan called and that I'm really looking forward to seeing her again on Wednesday." My stomach twisted and the gut feeling that told you shit was going down. And it was really bad. He sounded too happy.

"Oh, um yeah sure. No problem" I hung up the phone and sat down. Ashley had better be able to explain.

_**Ashley**_

Spencer had me pinned against the wall, her hands sneaking under my skirt and her mouth firmly attached to my neck. She clutched my hips and pulled me closer to her. Suppressing a moan I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back gently.

"whoa there cowgirl" I said breathlessly as she leaned in to kiss me again. "I think this is something that is best where there's a bed." She just grumbled and kissed me again. I smiled and pushed her back again "Spencer..." She pouted and gestured for me to go ahead of her before she picked up her shirt and I rolled my eyes "I'll be there in a second Spencer" she hung her head and walked up the stairs

"Don't keep me waiting Davies!" She said heading up the stairs and passing Kyla who didn't even cringe when she saw Spencer walking up the stairs shirtless. I was smiling like an idiot, thinking about what was going to happen in about two minutes when I saw the look on Kyla's face.; a mixture of disappointment, sadness and one that told me I'd better tell her what she wanted to hear. She walked down the stairs and stood in front of me, a burning anger in her eyes

"Ky? What's wrong?" I asked and she just smiled with sadness

"Ethan phoned" My face instantly fell and I knew what was coming. "Yeah, you know when you were getting felt up by Spencer and telling her you love her He said he had a fantastic time and just couldn't wait until Wednesday when he sees you again." I looked down at my hands.

"Ky it's not what you—" she held up her hand and I saw tears beginning to pool in her eyes

"Ashley, I don't want to know what it is." She said with soul burning anger "I don't care what fucked up little thing you've started" her voice was hushed, she knew Spencer would be able to hear if she started screaming at me. "Just don't you DARE hurt Spencer. That girl has done so much more for you than this Ethan guy ever could." I just stared at her, dumbstruck "If you need a break then fucking tell her now, before you do something stupid and screw her up more than you have already." She turned around and went back upstairs, leaving me on the bottom floor.

"Oh Ashley!" I heard Spencer yell from the top floor and I walked upstairs slowly, towards the girl who's heart I'd so carelessly tossed around.

I hate myself.

**No, I cannot make life easy for Spashley. Because in real life love is a hell of a lot harder than in fairytales...plus I'm a little love sick right now...=( ah the horrors of being a gay girl in a straight girl's world. But lucky for you guys when I'm in this mental state I write better. Yay! **

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Spencer starts sports, Kyla gets pissed, Ethan's a moron and Ashley catches the stupid.**


	6. Shattered Glass

**Hey, Thanks for the reviews people.**

**Chapter 6**

_**Ashley**_

I laid half on top half off of Spencer, resting my head on her shoulder and my arm around her waist. She'd actually slept for most of the night, probably because of the hell of a lot of exercise last night. But I doubt that even I could have sex with her every single night for the rest of my life to help her sleep. I pulled her closer and felt her wince, I'd woken her up.

"Oh crap Spencer I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.." she just smiled and shifted slightly, her messy blonde hair falling in front of her face. She pushed it back with one hand, her eyes still closed and stretched out her back a little bit, arching slightly off the bed and then pulled me closer.

"its ok baby" she exhaled and kissed my forehead. "I was already awake" she gently pulled her fingers through my hair untangling the brown curls.

"How are your ribs?" I asked gently running my fingers over the bruised skin, tracing the bones under the bare skin. Her muscles tensed under my probing fingers.

"Tender still" she breathed and brushed the hair back from her face again before pulling the covers up over our bodies and rolled over slightly to pull me closer. "But it's not as bad when you're here" she whispered and kissed my shoulder before resting her forehead against mine. I looked at the light pink bump on her chest, the scar from the bullet, and gently ran my finger over it. It almost felt like that horrible night never happened but the only evidence was this little quarter sized pink dot. It contrasted greatly with her tanned skin and was easily noticeable. Spencer tried to roll again and winced, her eyes squeezing shut and I could tell she was holding her breath, waiting for the pain to pass.

"Do you need it wrapped?" I asked, the doctor had suggested that if her ribs hurt too much we should use a tenser bandage to help keep everything in place and hopefully ease the agony. She shook her head, being stubborn as always

"I'll be fine I just need to—" she was cut off again and her fingers grabbed the bed sheets in a vice-like grip while gritting her teeth, she'd hurt herself again.

"Spencer..."

"Ashley, I'm fine ok? I'm just a little sore is all. The doctor said it'd be a long recovery and he said it'd be painful so just calm down and stop worrying so much" she said relaxing again slowly but still hadn't opened her eyes.

"Will you stop being so damn brave Spencer? I want to help you." She opened her eyes and I could see just a flicker of the old Spencer, if only for a second.

"Ashley I understand that. I know you want to help but there are going to be times when you've got to trust me when I tell you I'm ok and I don't need anything." She said kindly and gently stroked my back, I hadn't even realised I'd sat up. I pulled my knees to my chest and played with my thumbs. I wanted to tell her about Ethan. I wanted to spill my guts to her right then and there even if it was just out of nowhere. I wanted to feel like Spencer needed me so I could stop thinking about him.

"could you just let me help you Spencer? Please?" She looked at me for a second before nodding slowly and I jumped out of bed, pulling on a T-shirt and a pair of Spencer's old basket ball short. I looked under the bed, trying to find the medical kit the doctor had given us filled with tenser bandages. I hated feeling desperate like this. Feeling the control over my life slipping through my fingers and I was grasping at straws trying to keep it together. Spencer's having problems, I can't keep her safe, then there's the whole Ethan thing and…I just don't know what to do anymore.

I found the kit and put it on the bed, helping Spencer to sit up. She winced and I could easily tell she was holding back small whimpers.

"Kyla!" I called and Spencer just shook her head

"I can do it Ashley, I just need a second ok?" I was half tempted to yell for the teeny-bopper again but the look in Spencer's eyes stopped me. It was filled with cold determination and looked like she'd keep trying to do it herself. "Besides I doubt Kyla would want to see me void of clothing." She muttered and managed to get herself into sitting position and put on a bra. I was about to insist she didn't, it could've interfered with the wrapping but she shook her head "I'm going to a softball practise today, I really need to wear something" I looked at her shocked. She was playing a sport? Not only that she didn't tell me?

"Why didn't you let me know?" I asked, beginning to wrap the bandage around her, and she looked down

"Because you seemed really busy with the whole record label…I didn't want to stress you out more." In that second I felt horrible.

"You should have told me" I said halfway done and she just sighed

"I know Ash, and I'm sorry ok? I'm just worried about you"

"Yeah and I'm not worried about you?" we both knew how she was under the bandages, bruised inside and outside, broken bones….

"I never said you weren't Ash. I wanna show you something" she said climbing out of the bed and reaching into her duffle bag. I really wish she'd unpack. She pulled out a baseball glove, it was brand new and she also pulled out other things like a helmet, batting gloves, cleats and a slider. She grabbed a sharpie off the night stand, pulled on some pants and sat down beside me. Why hadn't she come to me when she wanted to get these things?

"Where'd you get all this?" I asked and she smiled at me, proud of herself

"I bought them myself. With my own money! It took a while to be able to afford it all but…it was worth it" she looked like my Spencer for a few moments but I was still concerned about why she hadn't come to me when she wanted to get all this stuff.

"Why didn't you ask me to get you it for you Spence?" She seemed startled and a little chest fallen

"I-I just wanted—"

"Did you think I wouldn't get them for you?"

"No Ash!"

"Then what Spencer?"

_**Spencer**_

"I can't believe you want to start a fight over this!"

"I don't want a fight Spencer"

"You're starting one Ashley!"

"I'm just confused is all!" She was starting to raise her voice and she stood up like I had, watching me pace as I tried to get my frustration under control. "I want you to feel like you can come to me when ever you need anything!" She was being ridiculous and was getting all pissy when I did something for myself. This was fantastic. Well, at least the morning started out ok.

"I do Ashley! But this was one thing I wanted to do by myself! I thought you'd be proud of me for using my own money to get what I needed!"

"Spencer cut it out ok? I'm happy that you got what you needed but I don't want you spending your money on things like this that I can get you!"

"Oh my GOD Ashley! You're being idiotic and so over protective! I wanted to do something for myself ok? I wanted to buy what I needed without having someone else help me out!"

"What if I want to help you Spencer? What if I want to be there for you when you need me?" I looked at her for a second, she was royally hurt but I just couldn't deal with it right now. She was being so…so asshole Aiden that it was driving me mental.

"I'll always need you Ashley! But I don't need your money! I don't need you to buy my way through my life! I CAN do things for myself!"

"Spencer! I'm trying to be there for you!" I started putting my stuff away in the duffle bag, I was pissed and Ashley was pissed and everyone was just the mayors of angryville!

"You can be here for me Ashley! But I don't want you to write a damn cheque every time I see you like I'm some gold digging whore!" I grabbed the bag and a T-shirt before storming out of the room, hearing Ashley coming after me. Aiden and Kyla were watching TV and looked up at me as I walked out, pulling a T-shirt over my head recklessly and hurting myself a little bit. Luckily the bandages around me covered the upper part of my torso so I wasn't storming out in just a bra. The look on their faces told me they heard us fighting. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the people in Australia heard us.

"Spencer! You're not a gold digging whore! You're my girlfriend!" she called but I wasn't stopping to hear her out. "Spencer just wait! We can talk about this! I don't want you to be mad!" But by then I was already making my way down the stairs.

"I've got to go! Practise starts in twenty minutes!" I yelled and walked towards the door

"At least let me give you a ride!" I didn't answer. I just walked out the door and called Clay, he'd already offered me a lift. I know I probably didn't handle that the best way possible but I couldn't take Ashley being all possessive. She was being stupid and I was tired of it. I still loved her. Nothing on planet earth or in the entire universe could change that.

Clay dropped me off at the practise right on time and I walked up, a little wobbly in my cleats but fine other than that. There were really pretty girls there. I mean like drop dead gorgeous.

"You must be Spencer!" the coach, a big burly guy said walking over to me and clapping me on the back to which I had to force myself not to wince. "My name's Mike but you can just call me coach!" he said with an amazingly friendly smile for such a terrifyingly buff man. I just blinked at him, he had shaggybron hair and warm muddy brown eyes.

"Dad, stop freaking out the new girl" a really pretty brunette said walking up, wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt. She held out her hand to me "name's Carmin"

"Spencer" I said shaking her hand in mine.

"Well come on" she said and lead me towards the dug out "I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls" I smiled slightly and followed behind her. Maybe this wouldn't be so terrifying after all. She listed so many names I couldn't even begin to remember any of them. Everyone was trying to one up each other with gruelling injury stories. Carmin apparently had hurt herself last softball season sliding home.

"Yeah the back catcher fell on top of me when I slid, I knocked her legs out from under her...sad sad day. She snapped the bone in my leg. "

"Back catcher?"

"Yeah you know, the suit of armour behind the plate...gets balls thrown at her the entire game." I nodded, finally figuring this whole game out. "So does Spencer Carlin have any horrible injury stories?" I just shook my head,

"no, not really." She poked me in the ribs, not very hard but it was enough to make me bite my tongue

"Then what's with the tenser?" She asked and I just shook my head

"A cow fell on me" and everyone looked at me before rolling their eyes, obviously not believing my story. But come on, I couldn't tell them I'd gotten shot. I mean really? I wouldn't even believe it if someone had told me that. I also couldn't tell them that I'd killed my brother. Things would just get awkward.

"So anyway Spence, why exactly did you join ball?" I blinked at her and figured I might as well tell the truth from now on, they all seemed to be able to tell when I was lying.

"Therapy" I said

"Like physical therapy?"

"No, mental." She smiled at me cheekily

"Dealing with the trauma of getting body slammed by a bovine? That must be so hard for you." I just chuckled

"You're hilarious" I rolled my eyes

"But seriously what's with the tencer Spencer" I heard a girl call from the end of the dug out and I sighed "Don't you dare say you got hit by a car, or run over by a camel!"

"Jesus Kelly, calm the hell down!" Carmin called over us "She got mauled by cattle and you're making jokes! You sicken me!" she joked and I rolled my eyes as she pretended to sooth my feelings.

Half way through practise Coach handed out flyers. Apparently there was a tourni the next day, just an ice breaking thing to get the teams used to each other, there'd be prizes and food. I looked at the notice Coach gave me

"You'll be coming right Carlin?" he asked and I nodded

"I wouldn't miss it!" I said until I heard the chatter that always followed a certain someone I'd had a small spat with this morning.

"Is that Ashley Davies?"

"No you're crazy. That couldn't be—"

"Oh shit it is!"

"Wow, and I thought she was pretty on TV"

"Why is she HERE?"

"Beats me."

She walk up to the fence surrounding the field and waited there in her always way-too-short-skirt, a vest with nothing but a bra underneath, heels and her hair was straightened. I looked at Coach

"I'll just be right back" I murmured, feeling all eyes on me as I walked over to my girlfriend. The fence was up to her shoulders and she rested her hands on the top of it, watching me slowly close the distance between us. "What do you want Ashley?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest and I could hear the constant blabbing going on between the girls as they talk about us. I wish they'd all shut up. Just for a second.

"I wanted to apologies. I'm sorry for wigging out on you earlier and I'm sorry that I've been all weird and treating you like a 'gold digger'." She looked down at the ground for a second "I guess I'm just scared you're going to leave me if I don't do things for you." I smirked and she looked up at me "Are we ok?" she asked timidly, as if she was afraid I'd say no and slap her across the face. "I mean I'll completely understand if we're not, I mean we can always just—" I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers tenderly which was awkward over the fence. She smiled against my lips an d we broke the kiss quickly

"Can I give you a lift home?" She asked and I rolled my eyes at the way she bounced slightly like she was a little kid begging her parents to buy her a pony.

"Hmmm...let me think..." she smiled, knowing it was a yes. I walked back to the girls and they all looked at me in awe, it was silent for a moment before they all exploded with giddy girl gossip

"You're that Spencer?"

"I KNEW there was something familiar about you!"

"Wow. You totally slept with Ashley didn't you!"

"Oh my god! You're like royalty!"

"So why were you in the hospital?" Carmen asked, the only one seemingly not enthused about my 'getting it on' with a Davies daughter. Everyone froze and looked at her then to me, expecting me to answer. I was going to lie. I truly was...wait...that really did not make sense. Anyway I shrugged and simply told the truth.

"I got shot" and I walked away from the crowd, heading over to get my bag

"whoa whoa whoa! You mean like shot with a gun, shot!" I heard everyone running after me. I didn't answer, I just kept walking and waved Ashley over from where she sat on the bleachers. She followed me like a puppy and took my hand in hers.

"I love you" she whispered as we walked away.

"I love you too Ash" I kissed her gently before getting into the car "More than words can say"

_**Ashley**_

It was Wednesday morning and Spencer wasn't there when I woke up. Just a note saying she went out running and had some softball thing that she had to go to so she wouldn't be home all day and until late. I grumbled and rolled over lazily , barely registering the time on the digital clock.

"SHIT!" I yelled and leapt out of bed and ran into the bath room, slamming it behind me and showering quickly. I had ten minutes until I had to be at the record deal thing. I climbed out and got dressed, dried my hair, brushed my teeth, and deodorized then headed out the door and to my car. My heart was pounding at the thought of seeing Ethan again. My lips tingled at the thought of our kiss. I couldn't wait.

I pulled into the parking lot of the record company and climbed out, heading towards Ethan's office. I opened the door and found him laying back in his chair and he smiled when he saw it was me. I shut the door behind me, having the feeling I did before Spencer and I had slept together for the first time. Excitement, nervousness and over all need.

"hey" he said huskily with his cocky smirk and got up, walking over to me.

"Hi" I smiled back and felt his hands on my hips as he backed me into the wall. It was amazing. I felt comfortable with him already. And I felt like I needed him like I needed air to breathe. He kissed me again and in this moment I wasn't thinking about anything or anyone. In this moment I just needed to feel wanted. To feel loved. His hands trailed my body and his lips attached themselves to my throat, I arched into him, wanting to feel his solid body against my own. "come to my place tonight" I breathed and he stopped and looked at me, a lustful smile on his lips.

"you sure?" he asked and I leaned into him until my lips were only an inch from his

"positive"

_**Spencer**_

I swung the bat and hit the ball amazingly far. I'd never played a sport in my life and suddenly I was hitting to the back fence. I'd won nearly every competition in the entire afternoon. The only ones I lost was sliding and wheel barrel races because I couldn't compete with my injuries. It was awards time and all the teams sat together in separate groups on the field. I sat beside Carmen who had become my best friend in the short day or two we'd hung out. She was really awesome. She kept the vultures at bay when I screwed up at something and always knew how to make me feel better again.

We were laughing and having fun when I heard the presenter announce

"And most improved player this championship is..." he opened the folded slip of paper and called "Spencer Carlin!" I stared at Mike in shock and Carmen urged me to get up and I almost ran to the award in his hand. It was made out of Glass and the engraved writing read 'most improved player. Spencer Carlin" I smiled and shook the hands of all the coaches before sitting back down beside Carmen. I was nearly giddy with excitement and I couldn't wait to show Ashley!

"Way to go Spence. You really earned that award" she said and I mock gasped

"My Carmen! That was almost a compliment!" she rolled her eyes and bumped me with her shoulder.

"yeah well I've got a soft side too Carlin." I snickered

"I'm sure you do." I said sarcastically and earned another eyes roll. "I can't wait to show Ash." I said to myself but I felt Carmen stiffen at my side. I noticed and looked at her "Car what's wrong?" I asked. She shrugged

"I just don't want you to get hurt Spence." I rolled my eyes, she was so protective.

I walked over to the car Clay leant me and drove back to Ashley's place and hopped out of the car, nearly bouncing with school-girl-giddyness. She'd be sooooooo proud of me. She'd be so happy! I walked up the stairs, award and a bouquet of flowers I'd picked up for her in hand, and crept towards the bedroom door, trying not to wake anyone until I surprised Ashley. It was late and all the lights were out I figured it was safe to assume Ashley was asleep. I wanted to know how the meeting with the record guy went as well. I was so excited that I opened the door and stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't yell, I couldn't move, I couldn't think. All I could do was stand there while my heart cracked and shattered and splintered into small shards that I don't think could ever be put back together again.

All I could do was stand there, in the door way and listen to my heart break like shattered glass.

**Yeah, another cliff hanger. No preview this time!**


	7. Shotgun To the Heart

**Hey! Just thought I should let you know you're all horrible people. But I love you. You're making me fall behind in school! I can't stop writing this damn story because I love it and because I don't want to let you guys down! I hate hurting Spashley but it can't be like "Oh I've loved you since the first moment I saw you!" "Me too! Let's get married!" "yay!". There has to be mistakes and there has to be issues. There's got to be problems and they've got to be able to figure out who they are as Spencer and Ashley before they can figure out who they are as Spashley. Because there has to be story behind every character and every character has to be a story. (she says quoting Alan Wake. A video game. I just keep getting nerdier and nerdier...but nerds are cute...right?) **

**Chapter 7**

_**Spencer**_

I could neither look away or bare to watch anymore. What I saw was like a shot gun to my heart, blowing it to hell and causing me to bleed out everywhere. All I saw was Ashley, naked, on top of him. His hands touching her skin like mine did. His lips against her neck like I did. And his completely naked body against hers. In our bed, with candles lit all around them and stupid flower petals and fucking essence burning on the goddamn side table. I could feel my pain materialize and sting my eyes, forcing its way out with relentless ambition. This cannot be happening. She wouldn't do this to me, she loves me. She wouldn't...she couldn't...she can't...

I clutched the flowers in my hands, lilies her favourite, and felt the cool glass in the other. I wasn't happy any more, I wasn't depressed, I was just hurt. Hurt isn't even the right word for it. I was trampled. It was like someone had thrown an anvil at my head and missed by a mile, instead crushing my heart. I wanted so badly to run, I wanted so badly to get away from here and never ever come back. I wanted to leave. But my feet were still nailed to the floor with disbelief and betrayal. This cannot be happening. She said she loved me. She said she needed me and she said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. She couldn't just turn around and sleep with some asshole because we had a fight! That wasn't Ashley. My Ashley wouldn't hurt me like this knowingly.

She sat up, still straddling him and let her head fall back, the brown curls tumbling down her golden skin like chocolate. A lustful moan escaped her lips and the tears fell more steadily down my face, like a waterfall. As if that wasn't enough to completely crush me the next thing to come out of her mouth, though it was barely a whisper would rip my life down the middle with a rusty razor blade. It would crush the very fibre of my being. Though I barely heard it, it destroyed me.

"I love you"

It hit me like a freight train. I staggered back like someone had punched me in the gut, I dropped the flowers and covered my mouth to stop the broken sob that forced its way through my lips. How could she? I felt the knife twist in my stomach as I fell back against the wall, my tears blinding me and my heart was now stomped to dust. She was my everything, my reason for living, my reason for killing. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. All I could do was stand there hopelessly watching as the girl I loved slept with a guy right in front of me. She was sleeping with a guy in our bed, where we'd slept together so many times before. I stood there for only a few more seconds before I heard Kyla come out of her room, even then I couldn't run like I was telling my feet to do.

Kyla grunted and rubbed her head "Spencer?" that caught Ashley's attention and she looked over her shoulder at me.

"SPENCER!" I looked at her a second, I couldn't say anything. All I could down was shake my head as the tears clouded my vision. I raised the award in my hand and threw it hard at the guy she was with, clipping him in the forehead and bouncing off, shattering against the wall, showering the bed with dangerous shards. I tried so hard to be strong, to pretend that I wasn't affected. But in the end I ran. My broken heart slammed mercilessly against my already broken rib cage beating the living shit out of me as I tried to escape the pain that I knew I couldn't out run. I could hear three sets of footsteps running after me as I booked it down the long hallway, I recognized two of them and the loud clunky ones must have been the bastard's. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything anymore. I was numb.

"Spencer wait!" I heard Ashley calling after me and I just kept running, her voice couldn't touch me anymore. "Spencer please!"

"You should have just let me die!" I screamed over my shoulder, finding my voice and heard her footstep falter "You should have let me bleed out on the side walk of the goddamn park!" I ran down the stairs and heard no one following me. Good. I didn't want them to. I wasn't going home, I wasn't going to Clay's, I wasn't going anywhere that Ashley knew about. I didn't want anyone near me. Which would be easy for me. I've always been good at disappearing, be it because of all the hide n seek as a kid or just being good at being alone, if I don't want to be found…you won't find me. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket and took comfort in the fact that in only a matter of hours, a day at the most, Spencer Carlin would drop off the map. In a matter of hours, Spencer Carlin would no longer be lost. But she wouldn't be found either.

_**Kyla**_

"You should have just let me die!" Spencer yelled as the whore, the dickwad and I all ran after her. "You should have let me bleed out on the sidewalk of the goddamn park!" We all stopped. And I turned on Ashley as the door slammed shut. She stood there in a sheet wrapped around her body and Mr. I-think-with-my-dick stood behind her in his underwear. She looked at me and I saw tears in her eyes. Hunter walked up behind me, leaning into my leg.

"Ky.." I wrenched my hand back and slapped her hard across the face, causing her head to snap to the side. a bright red hand print already taking form. Mr. Dickhead took a step forward and Hunter growled and snapped at him making him stay away from me.

"You are one dumb bitch!" I snarled and she winced under my words "You fuck him around the same time Spencer came home? Are you fucking kidding me with that Ashley! Do you even know what kind of insult that is to Spencer? BESIDES the fact that all the times you said I love you to her was a complete and total lie! You just told her that she wasn't good enough by sleeping with a guy! You just told her that you need more than she's got!" the tears were pouring down her face now, but I didn't care anymore. Ashley had made her decision. She'd chosen some asshole over the girl who'd given her life and killed her own brother to protect her.

"Ky..." she begged and I just glared at her. This wasn't my sister.

"I'm not Ky to you anymore Davies. I am not your sister. And you're lucky that this isn't my house, or else you'd be flat outside on your ass with your boytoy and Spencer would still be living here." I saw the guy glare at me and say

"You can't talk to her like that!" Ashley just slid down the wall, face in her hands crying. Good. She disserved all the pain in the world plus more for what she did to Spencer. I just kept walking and flipped him the bird over my shoulder. Spencer was gone and Ashley was just sitting there against the wall as Senor I-like-to-fuck-up-relationships just kept yelling at my turned back. I didn't hear any of it. It was just a roaring in the background that was easy to ignore. To hell with him. To hell with her. God bless Spencer's soul.

_**Ashley**_

Don't start yelling. Don't be mad. I fucked up I know it. And as I sat there on the ground, with the sheet around my body I knew that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life; bigger than the time I accidentally dropped my dads two million dollar guitar off the balcony. Bigger than the time I called my third grade teacher a whore. Ethan kept yelling at Kyla and I just told him to leave. I didn't want him here or anywhere near me right now. He looked at me for a second before getting dress and walking out the door, still cursing and yelling. I reached for the phone and dialled Mr. C's number, dreading the conversation I was about to have. I sat there crying alone in the hall way, the only sound echoing off the empty halls was my sobbing.

"Hello?" a drowsy voice answered and I just cried harder, he was going to hate me.

"Mr. C?" I asked and he immediately sounded concerned

"What is it Ashley?"

"Mr. C something awful has happened" I cried

"What Ashley? Did Spencer have another episode?"

"No, She came in…I wasn't expecting her and….she caught me in bed with another guy!" the line went dead, I could feel the anger coming from him even though he said nothing "We've got to find her! She stormed out I don't know where she went!"

"I'll find her" he hung up the phone and I just stared at it for a second before pressing the hang up button and tossing it away from myself. I rolled over onto my side and pulled my knees to my chest. I didn't want this. I wanted my life back.

_**Spencer**_

I sat on the bleachers in the ball park. Just enjoying the view and saying good bye to the sport that I'd loved so much. I couldn't take being in this city anymore. I couldn't take living here and having the memory of Ashley following me everywhere I went. I called Chelsea and Clay once I'd calmed down. And told them what was going on. Not that Ashley had cheated on me, just that Ashley and I broke up and I needed to get away. So yes, I lied. But it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. My life as I knew it just hit rock bottom. Like I was climbing up a deep hole and I'd reached the top, fingers gripping the side and then Ashley stepped on my hand, sending me spiralling back down to the bottom of the deep abyss. But it was fine. It was better to feel numb that to feel my heart being stabbed and beaten every second.

I leaned back against the wood of the bleachers behind me and sighed. Maybe I'd spend the night here and then keep moving in the morning. I put my bag beside me and laid my head on the awkwardly shaped pillow.

"Having fun?" a familiar voice asked and I heard Carmen walk up the bleachers and sit one row above me

"Please don't make me answer that."

"Oh come on Spence. Is it camp out night at the ball park and I didn't get the memo?" I turned onto my stomach, facing away from her. "Spencer, come on. You left like three hours ago. Why are you back?"

"Maybe I just wanted a change of scenery"

"and maybe you're so full of shit your eyes are brown."

"My eyes are blue."

"Figure of speech. Stop dodging the question. Why aren't you with Davies?"

"She left me" I whispered after a pause, which wasn't totally a lie, and Carmen was quiet, contemplating action.

"she hurt you bad didn't she?" I just nodded. It was amazing how she could read me like a children's book. "It's ok Spencer. Its ok" she took the place of the duffle bag and my head was in her lap. "You can stay at my place" I opened my mouth to argue, but it was like she could read my mind "JUST for the night if you want. I won't tell anyone where you are and I'll tell my dad to keep his mouth shut ok? I can't let you stay out here all alone the entire night." I didn't even ask how she knew I was leaving town. I didn't want to know. She kissed my forehead gently and smoothed her hand over my hair, pushing it from my face. "Now come on Hobo child." She said grabbing my bag and bounding down the steps.

"How do you have so much energy?" I called after her as she literally danced across the field and towards her car "It's like, four in the morning!" she just smiled, twirling around as she walked

"Red bull, video games and the blood of virgins."

"I don't think the blood of virgins is supposed to give you energy. I think it's immortal beauty."

"My, my, Spencer! Was that a come on?"

"You wish"

"You know it!" she said in a sing song voice and I rolled my eyes. Yes Carmen was gay, yes she had a crush on me and yes she was very, very open about it.

"Do you realise you are certifiably insane?" She stopped and looked at me, a smirk on her lips

"Nu uh. The definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Besides, you're one to point fingers Ms. 'I'm-dealing-with-phycological-damage-after-a-cow-tipping-went-horribly-wrong'." I blinked at her and shook my head

"You'll never let that go will you?"

"Not in this life time."

**Well there you have it. At least now Spencer's not the only one getting hurt. But a shout out to all the FanFic Ninjas revealing themselves and the people just joining the TSH tribe. We will take over the WORLD! Not really but a girl can dream.**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Spencer's numb, Ashley's a bum, Carmen's snarky, Kyla's darky, Ethan's a whore and everyone else wants more!**


	8. Assholes, Death Threats and Emptiness

**Hey, seems like more ninjas are showing themselves which is fracking awesome! **

**Chapter 8**

_**Spencer**_

Carmen's place was pretty cool. The entire down stairs area was her mini suit like how the top floor of the Davies-. I stopped myself from finishing my thought and sat down on the beat up couch in her living room, equip with a mini-fridge a small coffee table, a few game systems and a bean bag chair. There was also a blank canvas in the corner with paints scattered around the room. Her dad was asleep and her brother was hanging out at his friend's place for the night.

"So what do you think Carlin?" she asked plopping down on the bean bag chair "I mean it's not as great as the other place you were staying" She knew better than to actually say where I had been staying "But I like to think it holds its own." I rolled my eyes and stretched out

"Thanks for letting me hang out tonight Carm" I sighed heavily she laughed

"It's like I had much of a choice Spence?" She looked over at me "I couldn't leave you out in the park. Do you even understand how many creep-o's are out there?" I rolled my eyes and she got up "Want a drink?"

"LET me get it please? I'm tired of people doing stuff for me" she stopped half way through the step she was taking. She stood there a little awkwardly for a second. Before saying even more awkwardly

"uh, ok...Go get us a soda...whore..." she sat on the couch as I got up and I couldn't help but laugh

"Ok I think the whole 'whore' thing was a little too far..."

"oops"

I tossed her a cola and plopped down beside her, kicking my foot up on the coffee table like she did. It was good to feel like I belonged somewhere and wasn't like a stranger in the place that had people who were like family. Or used to be like family. I shook my head as I felt tears stinging my eyes. No, I decided, Spencer Carlin would no longer cry over someone. I'd be damned if I shed one more tear for... I would not cry over things that were happening. No matter how much it hurt.

I swallowed my tears and drank from my can of pop. I'd ship out of here tomorrow. I'd start fresh and new. Re-invent myself somewhere new.

"Hey Spencer?" Carmen asked looking at the tab on her pop "I was thinking that...maybe...you wouldn't have to leave. I mean you can't let you-know-who chase you from your home can you?" I just smiled sadly

"To be chased from my home, I'd have to have one in the first place."

"Oh stop being dramatic Spencer." She groaned and stood up. Oh come on, ANOTHER fight?

"I'm not being 'dramatic' Carmen!" I said putting my pop down and sitting up "I'm being truthful. I don't have a place to stay. Clay's got a full house with Chelsea and Terry and his mother coming to visit, my mom's a royal homophobic bitch, and I can't go back to where I was staying before."

"You can stay here!" Carmen was losing her temper as always

"No. I. Can't." I said and stood up

"why not?"

"Because every time I stay somewhere I end up losing the people who mean the most to me." She stared at me for a second "I don't want to lose you." She blinked a few times before walking towards me and gently kissing my forehead before wrapping me in a hug

"You'll never lose me. I promise you." And I wrapped my arms around her too, needing the comfort more than I'd like to admit. "and I will never hurt you Spencer. I can't even imagine causing you as much pain as she has." I stiffened at how much she knew without me even saying anything. How much she understood.

"Thank you Carmen. Thank you so much"

_**Carmen**_

Spencer was still asleep when I woke up. She'd had so many nightmares during the night that I'd stopped counting how many times she shot off the couch. Seeing as she was finally peaceful, I figured I'd just run out and get something's for her, because I knew she would leave and drop off the face of the earth as soon as she walked out my door. Which yeah, would suck something bad. I mean, losing your best friend is going suck right? Of course it would. Yes. I shook my head and climbed into my shitty little beat to crap gas guzzler and headed to the super market. I had a list of the things she would need, from toiletries to a few new clothes and it shouldn't take me more than an hour and a half.

I was standing in the clothing section and that's where I heard the one voice I REALLY did not want to hear. Especially when she said

"You're Carmen right?" I turned around, I couldn't keep the severely pissed off expression from my face when I saw the one and only Ashley Davies. She looked like hell, she had a heavy amount of makeup on and even then it was obvious she was depressed. She was the last person on planet earth I wanted to see. But as much as I'd liked to throw a punch I tried to be civil.

"Uh yeah." And I went back to searching through the clothes

"have you seen Spencer?" I froze. I'd be damned if I'd tell this bitch anything. I simply shrugged and she knew I had "Where is she?" that's when I rounded on her, breaking out my "I'm gonna cut a bitch" attitude.

"Probably off somewhere trying to mend her heart" I said and felt her freeze behind me and then go on the offensive

"Just tell me where she is"

"Why don't you screw off diva? Or better yet why don't you go screw the guy you left Spencer for?" She just looked at me, I could see the hurt in her eyes but that didn't touch me. She didn't care about anything but herself.

"She told you?"

"She didn't have to, ok?" I looked back to the wrack and then couldn't stop myself from taking little Ms. Fuck-around down a level. I turned around and stepped towards her with every hostile intention possible "and you know what? She didn't even want to tell me. She didn't want you to look bad. And for whatever goddamn reason she still loves you." Those words tasted like shit but seemed to make her feel like crap. "And now she's closing herself off from everyone and everything as she's skipping town today." She stared at me, wide eyed and looked like her world was spiralling towards the sun

"she's leaving?"

"God do I need to spell it out for you beauty queen?" Now she was angry, good.

"You know what? Shut up ok?"

"Make me princess, besides how could you have Spencer love you, a heart as pure and caring as hers and then just stomp on it like it was a pesky little bug?"

"My relationship with Spencer is exactly that. My relationship." She took a step forward herself "It's for Spencer and I to figure out, not some bitch who thinks she KNOWS what's going on in our lives. Spencer and I will fix this." I rolled my eyes and scoffed

"Fix what? There is nothing left! You fucked a guy! She was so pumped to show you her award that she couldn't wait to get to your place. She thought you'd be so happy, so proud of her..." my eyes started to water as I thought about how badly Spencer was hurt and how badly I wanted to help her fix her heart. But she wouldn't let me in. I knew it, she knew it. And I don't blame her.

"just tell me where Spencer is."

"go fuck yourself"

_**Spencer**_

I walked out of Carmen's place, I'd have to go back considering the note she left telling me to, and I quote "Sit my ass down and wait for her to get back". I never really listened to anyone. I pulled on my aviator glasses and walked down the street, slightly blinded by the bright morning sun. It was a beautiful day, it was warm already and I instantly regretted wearing my black long sleeved T-shirt and jeans. This blows. I pushed up the sleeves and kept walking. Before I left there was one thing I had to do. One thing I had to make sure I made clear.

It took nearly half an hour of walking but I eventually made it to "Bradshaw Recording Corp." I walked towards it, knowing my hair was kind of messy and I was supremely tired but I could leave today. I could walk away from all of this today and start a new life. I walked through the parking lot and into the lobby of the building.

"Welcome to Bradshaw records! How may I help you?" the secretary chimed and I ignored her. I had a mission, I couldn't be pulled into a distraction. I walked towards the big mahogany doors with the plaque that read "Ethan Bradshaw, CEO" and I ignored the secretary who was yelling at me that I couldn't go in there. I threw open the doors and found the asshole looking at his computer intently.

"Well well fuck-along. Looking at more porn?" he looked up slightly disgruntled and I smirked. This guy was mine. He reached for the phone and I just shook my head "I didn't bring any projectiles with me this time." I glanced at the small scab on his forehead and couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. He backed off the phone and folded his hands on the desk.

"so Spencer—"

"Carlin." I corrected him, I hated the way my first name sounded when it came from his mouth.

"ok. Carlin, what can I do for you?" I sat down in the plush chair in front of his desk and leaned forward, folding my hands together and resting my elbows on my knees.

"I can't tell you how much you hurt me that night. The night you were with Ashley." He looked down for a second, obviously not wanting to talk about it. "I doubt you can even begin to fathom it. We'd been through some much together, her and I. But, for only god knows why Ashley has chosen you over me." I kept a straight face, sealing out the emotion with everything I had. I wouldn't show weakness in front of him, I wasn't going to expose my under belly to some sleaze bag. His face was serious but I knew he was feeling the same, small sliver of victory I had when I saw the mark on his head. I'd admitted I'd lost Ashley to him. "And I'm sure that whatever she sees in you is fantastic and amazing." He smiled cockily

"I'm glad you're handling this like an adult Ms. Carlin"

" There's just one little thing I'd like to ask of you..." I said and stood up and walked around to his side of the desk. He just swivelled in his chair to look at me. I smiled pleasantly down at him for a moment before taking off my sunglasses and resting them on the solid desk. I sat on the hard wood beside the glasses. I leaned forward "I want you to understand that Ashley is still the world to me. And if you ever hurt her, be it physical or emotionally, I will end you." He stared at me in shock for a moment before brightening up like I'd just told a funny joke.

"You're funny Carlin. You're really funny" I just stared at him and he swallowed seeing I was serious. "A death threat isn't something someone takes lightly Ms. Carlin." He said straightening his papers nervously

"It's not a threat." He looked at me confused "It's a promise."

"you wouldn't kill me. You couldn't." He challenged and I didn't smile at his futile efforts to intimidate me.

"Let's just get one thing straight here dick-head, so there are no more misunderstandings." In one smooth movement I grabbed this throat and slammed him against the wall while he was still seated, the wheels of his chair squealing in protest. A gold record fell from the wall and the frame shattered loudly, taking away most of the time I had before his body guards came in. "I've given my own life to save Ashley. I took my brother's life to keep her safe." There was fear in his eyes now, it just fuelled the cold flame that had taken the spot where my heart should be. "What makes you think I'd even hesitate before killing a scrawny little insignificant asshole like you for Ashley?" he had no answer and his face was bright shade of red. "Do we understand each other Mr. Bradshaw?" he sputtered out an unsatisfying mumble so I slammed him hard against the wall, hearing the dry wall crack under the force. His head would have snapped back against the wall if I hadn't been holding his neck. Damn I was strong! "I said do you understand?" he managed to find his voice

"yes" I smiled pleasantly again before squeezing a little bit harder

"Don't make me come after you, because right now I am the one person you do not want to piss off when Ashley is involved." And I released him and put on my glasses just as the security showed up and busted in the door, two fairly big pissed off guys. I simply held my hand out to stop them as they made a grab for me. "I can show myself out" and I walked through the lobby feeling accomplished and empty at the same time. Yes I'd shaken Ethan, yes I'd made him see I wasn't kidding. But the person I used to be couldn't make a threat like that. The old Spencer couldn't make a threat like that and actually mean it, actually follow through with it. I was just a hallow shell of who I used to be. There is not remains of happy Spencer Carlin; shy, loveable and kind Spencer Carlin. And I was still alone. As I walked out into the sunlight again, feeling the warm sun on my skin and squinting at the light, I knew nothing would ever be the same again.

And much like Glen, I was just a walking corpse of the person I used to be. I was a killer. A cold blood murderer.

**There you have it, chapter 8 is finished. Sorry it took so long to update, I had a softball tournament and I'm sick so also sorry if they're mistakes. I don't tend to think properly most of the time, but especially when I'm not healthy. **

**Reviews are welcomed and muchly appreciated. No rhyme for the preview this time. My head hurts too much.**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Ashley's desperate, Kyla's tired, Ethan's still a whore, and Paula and Spencer have it out at the funeral. **


	9. Shiny Black Phone

**Hey**

**Chapter 9**

_**Spencer**_

I'd lost track of how much time had passed. How many days, weeks I'd gone just drifting from town to town. I didn't know where I was or where I was planning to go next. But today I found myself down at the beach, just sitting on the warm white sand and looking out at the blue water, finding peace in my otherwise hectic life. I sighed and laid back, relaxing in the bright morning sun with no worries at all. I got up after a few minutes and walked towards the local pawn shop, wanting to sell the recent goods I'd gotten. I mean I'd borrowed...Ok fine yes I was now a petty thief as well as a killer. You can't judge me. I mean, how else is a seventeen-year-old gypsy supposed to get by? Even then I was barely making ends meet.

I looked into the side pocket of my duffle bag and took inventory of everything I had pick pocketed which was mostly jewellery and about thirty-three dollars. Trust me, I wasn't being selfish. I didn't use the money just for myself. I'd pass through places where there'd be kids wandering the streets at night, scavenging through dumpsters to find food or something to keep them warm. So I use some of the money to help them out a little; sometimes it was just taking them inside a coffee shop and buying them a donut and hot chocolate, sometimes it was getting them a motel room for the night, some place they can get cleaned up and sleep well. Yeah, yeah, a modern day Robin Hood.

I entered the pawn shop and was barely listening to the news playing on the beat-to-hell TV on the counter as I spilled my earnings in front of the grease ball in front of the cash register.

"Mighty fine amount of treasures you got there darling" the guy smile lopsidedly at me and my skin crawled. His face was hairy and the hair on top of his head was pulled back into a pony tail. He was gangly and had a stained wife-beater on, so yes he was absolutely revolting.

"just tell me how much it's worth" I said curtly, hiding my eyes behind the aviator glasses that, while being incredibly douchy, did a good job of making people avoid asking too many questions and helped to cover the bags under my eyes. No, the nightmares hadn't faded.

"Alright babe" I swear to god I nearly puked right there. He smirked at me cockily and I was about to say something when the TV chimed

"In local news, the funeral for Glen Carlin, a twenty year old man who was shot and killed at a high school prom, will be held today in the Foster Cemetery. The family members and people who witnessed the tragic event will be attending." I watched as the picture of my brother flashed across the screen. I was going to that funeral. I was going to say good bye to my brother for the last time.

"Your total is seventy-six dollars" he said distracting me from my train of thought and place a wad of cash on the counter. He smiled a yellow toothed grin at me and reached over to brush his fingers across the pendant around my neck, a small heart with one black and one white stone embedded in it. The one the Ashley had given me the day before she..."Is there anything else I can help you with? You know, this could give you a lot of cash..." I just made a disgusted face, grabbed his wrist and twisted it so he was on his back on the counter, panting and breathing out a laugh in pain. I grabbed the money, gave his arm one more painful twist before letting go and walking out. I didn't know how long it'd take me to get back there, all I knew is that it had to happen. I had to go to Glen's funeral. I had to face what I'd done and I had to get it over with. Just like ripping off a band-aid right?

The taxi ride to the cemetery was a long and, well, expensive; costing me half of what I'd earned that day. But soon enough I'd gotten there just as the ceremony was beginning. I saw Mom, Dad, Clay, Chelsea and Terry all on one side of the urn that held my brothers ashes and a bunch of distant family on the other. All of them dressed in black while I wore a T-shirt and jeans, I'm classy that way. Everyone lit up when they saw me arrive, some with shock, horror, anger. But my closet family seemed happy that I was ok and that I'd made it. My mother gave me a look that made me feel unwanted. It made her seem like a complete and total stranger. It was one of those looks that told you you were not welcomed there. Like you were just someone who needed to be removed. And in that moment I was thankful that I'd kept my sunglasses. Because they offered protection from her anger and soul burning hatred.

She only looked away when the priest opened the bible and began reciting some verse I really wasn't paying attention to. I was just staring at the pictures of Glen from when he was still Glen. The Glen who loved me, the Glen who beat up the kids who would pick on me, the Glen who treated me like a human being. I didn't miss this Glen, I missed the Glen he used to be.

"Glen Carlin was a boy with a bright future" the priest began after closing the good-book and setting it down in front of the urn. "A boy who loved his family and cared for his siblings." I snorted mentally, was I seriously the only one picking up on the amount of bullshit spewing from the holy-man's mouth? "He met an untimely demise."

Everyone turned to look as a big black SUV pulled up at the cemetery gates and out came you-know-who and her sister, both dressed formally in black. Ashley wore flared slacks and a black trench coat while Kyla wore a simple black dress. As soon as Paula saw them I knew shit was going to get crazy. She immediately left my father's side and be-lined for the Davies. I ran after her, She was going to do something, I knew it. Ashley and Kyla stopped under the shade of the willow tree, seeing the crazed woman heading for them, or Ashley to be exact.

"How DARE you show up here!" she spat venom as she closed the distance "How dare you show your face at my son's funeral!" Ashley back up a little bit, looking like a deer in the headlights. I instantly put myself between the girl I loved and the threat, spreading my arms out as I faced my mother as if I couls shield her from the woman's need for revenge.

"Back off mom!" I snarled just as poisonously as she was, if you could relate this to nature it'd be like two wolves facing off, teeth bared and ready for a fight.

"Spencer Mary Carlin, I want you to move. Now." She hissed and I just held my ground. The older wolf just snapped at the younger one's foot, a threat.

"I want you to back off. Ashley has every right to be here." I said trying to remain as calm as possible. The need for revenge was a feeling that was hard to overcome and easy to give in to. Younger wolf doesn't move, doesn't even flinch. "She was there that night, the night when my world got flipped upside down and torn into pieces." The look in my mother's eyes were that of disbelief and betrayal. I was glad in that moment that I'd learned to turn off my emotions because I think I would have started to cry right then and there.

"How can you defend her! After what she's done to our family!" Older wolf advances, pushing Younger Wolf to the brink of losing composure. I dropped my arms but felt Ashley's eyes on me, she could hold me without touching my body at all. I couldn't believe Paula was blaming Ashley for tearing our family apart.

"Look what you've done to our family!" I rounded on her, I'd lost my zen and I was letting it all out. "From your gay-to-straight therapist to abusing me emotionally because I'm gay!" She was getting angrier and angrier.

"She's the problem Spencer! She's the reason Glen is dead!" I just stared at her for a few moments, in complete and utter shock. She thought that Ashley was why my brother was in a little metal vase. She blamed Ashley for my shooting him? "She's the reason you killed your brother!" I felt that like a hard slap to the face. I just stood up and felt every ounce of frustration and uncontrollable rage that was seething in my body sudden well up to the surface. I didn't care anymore. This woman, much like my brother, was no longer the mother who'd helped me with my homework, who'd calmed me down when I had a nightmare, who kissed a scraped knee better.

"Paula." I said, trying to calm down just a little bit "The reason that I killed Glen was because he tried to make me kill Ashley" my voice was slowly rising and I was taking slow deliberate steps forward, pushing her back out of the shade and into the light. "The reason I put a hole through Glen's skull was because he tried to take away the only thing in my life that gave me happiness." I threw my glasses to the ground and continued to force my mother backwards. "The reason Glen is dead is because of all the sick, malicious, homophobic bullshit you put in his head! You're the reason your son is dead!" she suddenly lashed out with her hand and slapped me hard across the face, snapping my head to the side and making my cheek sting with a sharp pain that was more than just physical. We'd gotten the attention of the entire funeral by now who all stared in shock as I slowly looked back at Paula.

I looked at her for a moment before continuing with a more controlled tone. "Hit me all you want." I said in a quiet voice but I could feel the hushed anger coming from my own words. "But you know that if it wasn't for you and your bigoted mind set my real brother, the one who actually loved me, would still be alive. Do you can go back there and mourn the empty shell and you can remember that it was your daughter who held that gun in her hand. Remember that your little girl shot her older brother while protecting the girl she loves." She was looking at me with tears in her eyes, but they weren't for me. Those tears couldn't have been for me. "And you can have it on your conscious that while you were doing whatever the fuck you were doing, you didn't once visit your daughter in the hospital. You didn't once worry about the girl in the coma. About the daughter you also lost that day." The tears rolled down her cheeks freely and she reached out towards me with her hand

"Spencer I—" I turned away from her

"Just go." I said and didn't turn around. I heard her hesitate before she walked away, back to the ceremony. I looked up at Ashley who stood there, tears in her eyes and wrapped her arms around me in a hug that I so desperately needed. I missed the way she smelt, I missed the way she fit perfectly into my arms and I fit perfectly into hers. She gently stroked my hair and cried out for us both

"I'm so sorry Spencer" she whispered in a hopeless sob "I'm so sorry for everything." We parted a little bit, just enough for us to face each other. I looked into her honey brown eyes and saw just how sorry she was, just how upset she was and I could still see that she loved me. And as she leaned in and kissed me I realised just how much I missed her too. It wasn't a long kiss, more of a peck but it was filled with passion. We parted and she rested her forehead against mine like we used to. She placed something in my hand and folded my fingers around it. A cell phone.

"Ashley..." I said looking at the black, gleaming phone in my hand and she shook her head to stop me from telling her no.

"Just keep it ok? If—If you ever need something or if you get in trouble or...I don't know...you maybe just want to talk...I'll be just a call away Spence. No one else has the number but me." I felt my eyes sting but held back the tears. The on/off button for my emotions was not working anymore. "I still love you Spencer. With everything I am" she whispered, pulling me into another desperate embrace. My heart was broken, shattered into dust but somehow I still had the ability to love her. The never-ending need to have her close to me.

"I love you too Ashley." I whispered and held her in my arms like it was the last time I ever would and for a second felt the ruins of my heart putting themselves together, if only for a few seconds. "I'll never stop"

**Sorry it took longer than usual to get this up. my attention span in general is horrible but I haven't been able to focus on anything for more than a few seconds but a TV screen for the past three days without getting a headache. Thanks for all the get well wishes!**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**The phone rang beside me, waking me up. "Hello?" I asked drowsily, rubbing the sleep from my eyes**

"**Spencer" her voice sobbed hard through the line "Spencer, help me. Please" She sounded hysterical and weak. The sound of it instantly dissolved the exhaustion from my body, alarms going off in my head.**

"**Ashley? Ashley! What's wrong?" her crying scared the shit out of me, it was choppy and she was gasping in breaths. Was she hurt? What happened?**

"**Ethan..." my blood froze in my veins and fire set to my soul.**

**I'm going to kill him.**


	10. Late Night Call

**Hey, thanks for all the positive reviews! And the negative ones! I do like criticism, well not in a masochistic way but you know. And don't worry, Spencer hasn't forgiven Ashley but they are working to repair their relationship the best they can...which is not very well at all. Oh and I've been meaning to address everyone who is freaking out because I moulded their minds and turned them into Ashley haters and want to know how...I'm just great at writing depressing stuff and things that twist your thoughts...that or I place subliminal messaging in the text some how...because you know I can do things like that...yup.**

**Chapter 10**

_**Spencer**_

I sat in my motel room that I'd rented for the night, just staring at the small black phone in my hand. I hated myself at that very moment. I laid back on the bed and just ran my fingers over the smooth surface. No I hadn't forgiven Ashley for what she'd done to me, to us. No I hadn't forgotten how she trashed my heart by bringing Ethan into our bed. That memory still stains every waking moment; everywhere I go something reminds me of either the over whelming smell of his cologne or of the candles that lit that room. And every time that happened I could feel the rubble of my heart being stepped on and crushed even more.

I put the phone on the bedside table and stared up at the water stained ceiling. I regretted the way I had reacted to Ashley cheating on me. When I'd seen Ashley and Ethan together I just ran away with my tail between my legs. I just couldn't handle it. I was weak and I was a pansy for running from the girl I'd done so much for just because she slept with someone else. I should have stayed. I should have fought for the person I want more than anything in the world. I shouldn't have given up so easily. I should have wailed on the dirt bag for sleeping with my girl friend. Maybe then everything wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe then I could still hug her and kiss her and not feel totally grossed out with myself and with her. Maybe then I wouldn't be so fucked up.

But we were trying to fix things, trying to make everything better between us, even if it only was as friends. TRYING was the keyword. We'd already fought the first few minutes after she'd given me the phone about how I couldn't take it from her, about how it still felt like she was trying to buy me. Which, be it as it may, was childish and unnecessary but unavoidable. It seemed as though Ashley and I couldn't get along for more than three seconds at a time. I shook my head and pushed myself out of the bed and towards the bathroom to get cleaned up. I had promised Clay and Chelsea I'd head over to their place and hang out for a little bit. I climbed out of the shower and looked in the mirror at the bullet scar on my chest and touched it gently. Big mistake, flashes of memories shot through my mind. I staggered back a few steps and felt my head throb like my brain was trying to beat its way through my skull.

After a few minutes I was able to relax and calm down enough to call a taxi and make my way to Chelsea and Clay's. I lugged my duffle bag up the steps and knocked on the door, instantly the entire family was there. Terry, who was walking(!) hugged my leg as her parents hugged me at the same time. They brought me inside and we all started talking about random things until they asked me about Ashley. Oh hell.

"I mean, you guys seem to really want to be together..." Chelsea said, handing me a pop while I held Theresa in my lap. I really, really, REALLY did not want to talk about Ashley right now.

"Can we not go there Chelsea?"

"Why not?"

"Because she made a choice Chelsea! She chose some record company sleaze ball over me. It wasn't me who decided. She wanted to prove she was straight. She wanted to prove that she didn't need another girl." Terry patted my cheek with her hand, trying to calm me down. Or she was just having fun slapping me, seems like everyone's doing that a lot these days.

"she obviously still loves you Spencer" Clay said, entering the conversation "I mean I know she hurt you and all but—"

"You think she 'hurt' me Clay? Hurt isn't even a strong enough word for what she did to me."

"But you still love her." Damn it Chelsea! How the hell does she always find a way to expose my underbelly?

"That doesn't matter." She just looked at me, her face telling me she didn't believe a word I said

"It's all that matter Spencer. How many times do I have to tell you that until it passes through your thick skull?" I huffed and looked out the window. I didn't want to talk about my stupid love for Ashley. I never wanted to talk about it.

"Why do we have to keep talking about it?" I asked her and bounced Theresa on my knee gently. "That is a thing of the past Chelsea. Spashley or whatever the hell you'd call us died months ago." Yes the school year had already begun and I wasn't enrolled at King High, technically I was a drop out. But I had no funds. I didn't get to keep my college fund after my parents had me legally emancipated from them; Dad didn't want me to but knew I'd be safer if I was on my own. It was a mutual agreement, though it was yet another slap in the face when my mother spent the fund on Glen's Funeral. Guess who the favourite child is?

"'Spashley' isn't dead Spencer. not for you or for Ashley" Terry had now taken to playing with my new pair of sunglasses, exactly like the ones from the funeral that I'd left at my brothers head stone. She awkwardly put them on, trying to find a way to by-pass the fact that they were just too damn big for her head. Not wanting to discuss this anymore I just pressed my hand to my forehead

"Can I just please, please act like my life still makes sense? Like I'm not kicked out of my own house and like my girlfriend—my ex-girlfriend didn't cheat on me?"

"Pretend that you didn't kill Glen and you're not pick-pocketing for a living?" I just let my eyes close and held fall back against the couch, not even bothering to cast Clay an exasperated glare. I was surprised at how much it didn't bother me anymore. Killing in general.

"Yes please"

I spent the night at Clay's place and there was yet another fight about how I didn't want to. I know everyone loves me and they want to help me but every time someone invites me to stay at their place or want to give me stuff it grates on my nerves until I can't take it anymore. But it wasn't loud at least this time, with Terry being there and all. I also somehow ended up promising to hang around for a week until Terry's birthday where she'd be turning one. I unpacked my stuff in the guest room and sat down on the bed, staring at the shiny phone in the palm of my hand. God, why couldn't I stop loving her? Why couldn't I leave our relationship behind like nothing ever happened? Like I never fell for her in the first place? Resisting the urge to crush the phone under my heel I placed it on the bedside table. I wanted so bad to hate her. I wanted so bad to rip her out of my life. To never have to think of her, to never want to cry for what I've lost. But I couldn't, the most I could do was drink and drink until I forgot my own name and forgot what a fucked up life I have. But even then it was only a temporary fix.

I pulled on a baggy T-shirt and climbed into the bed, trying to find that one spot where you stay up so late and get so damn tired that if you don't pay attention you'll fall asleep. And just as I found it the phone rang beside me, waking me up. "Hello?" I asked drowsily, rubbing the sleep from my eyes

"Spencer" her voice sobbed hard through the line "Spencer, help me. Please" She sounded hysterical and weak. The sound of it instantly dissolved the exhaustion from my body, alarms going off in my head.

"Ashley? Ashley! What's wrong?" her crying scared the shit out of me, it was choppy and she was gasping in breaths. Was she hurt? What happened?

"Ethan..." my blood froze in my veins and fire set to my soul.

I'm going to kill him

"I'm coming Ashley just-just tell me where you are ok? Tell me where you are right now and I'll be there." Now I as getting hysterical, this was just super fucking great! I held the phone to my ear and awkwardly rushed to pull on my sweat pants.

"I-I don't know, I can't remember. We were talking and-and he invited me over later tonight to...to some place that he—Oh my god Spencer, I'm at his place." That made me move faster than I already was.

"What's the address Ashley, tell me where he lives" I said, she sounded so tired, so scared.

"seven-sixty-four moss road" she breathed after a few seconds.

"I'm coming Ashley just keep talking to me alright? Don't you dare hang up or stop talking to me alright?" I was desperate, I needed to find her and I needed to find her now. I ran down the hall towards my brother's and Chelsea's room and practically kicked the door open, sheding light onto their sleeping faces.

"Spencer what's going on? Turn off the light" he groan, shielding his eyes.

"I need the keys to your car." I said still trying to get my sweatpants on properly

"what? why?" I was getting exasperated

"Now is not the time for questions Chelsea! Now is the time for giving me the keys to your car so I can go do something!" Clay saw how freaked out I was and tossed them to me after pulling them out of his bed side table drawer.

"Should we come with you?" Clay asked sitting up and I shook my head

"By the time you get dress it could already be too late."

_**Ashley**_

I don't know how I got this messed up. I don't know how I let the man I thought loved me get my mind so fucked up. I can still feel him right now even though I can't tell how long I've been lying on the floor. How long my clothes have been shredded and torn off my body. But I can remember every detail of what happened.

_My phone goes off in my pocket and I answer without hesitation_

"_Hey Ethan" I say and can't help but smile without happiness. _

"_hey," his voice holds no warmth but I don't notice anyway. "Can you come over later tonight? I want to talk with you about something" I agree almost instantly. I don't bother to wonder why her sounds like his words are slurring. I remember thinking about how lucky I was to have him, how lucky I was that he was the one I'd gotten myself into this situation with. I don't even notice that I'm as deep as a puddle._

_It's dark by the time I arrive at his place, a house as big as mine if not bigger. There are marble lions at the front gate and they stare at me menacingly, I half expect them to come to life and rip me apart right then and there. I drive up the long path up to the doors to the gigantic place, feeling a sudden uneasy sense wash over me; that gut feeling that told you something wasn't right. I ignore it. I just tell myself that I'm being stupid and a pansy. That nothing could be wrong because Ethan would never hurt me. _

_I knock on the door and it simply creaks open like in every horror movie on planet earth. _

"_Ethan?" I call into the empty place, feeling that uneasy sense just tie my insides in a knot. I can hear noises from the study and I walk down the hall, looking for the man who'd never hurt me. "Ethan?" I find him sitting at his desk hunched over and a bottle of alcohol in his hand with the lights off. He smiles at me, it's lopsided and sloppy and doesn't reach his eyes. He stands up and crosses the big room, it's obvious that he's drunk but he manages to somehow keep it together enough that he doesn't stagger. He shuts the door behind me and I move out of his way, concerned as he locks the door._

"_How's Spencer?" he asks and turns back to me _

"_She's not doing so well" I say honestly, taking a few steps backwards as he moves towards me_

"_Really? She seemed pretty great when you kissed her!" I stared at him in shock, What? "Yeah that's right Ashley" his words are harsh and they're angry and I can barely understand what he's saying."I saw you kiss her at the funeral" he said sitting back down and taking another long swig from his bottle._

"_It-It wasn't even really a kiss. It was more like an—" He's angry now. With one motion he throws everything off his desk and thing shatter and clatter as they hit the ground. _

"_Don't lie to me now you bitch!" He yells and strides across the room, dropping his liquor to the ground where the glass breaks and the contents spill everywhere. He grabs my arm in a grip that hurts enough to make my knees give out. Now he's the only thing keeping me on my feet and the only thing I want is for him to let go. "What am I not enough for you?" he screams and doesn't hear my desperate pleas for him to not hurt me, my desperate apologies and constant assurance that he is enough for me, I was lying through my teeth. _

_He forces me to the ground, pinning me under his body. His breath is hot and smells like cigarettes. He begins tear my shirt into rags with his bare hands ignoring my screams for him to stop and the tears spilling from my eyes. I manage to push him off and make a break for the door; no good. He's locked it. "Don't you run from me!" he screamed and grabbed my wrist, turning me around and whacking me solidly across the face and sending me back to the ground...I remember screaming and crying for him to stop. I wanted him to stop, I wanted him to let me go. But he wouldn't listen and he wouldn't let me keep my dignity...what very little I had left._

"Ashley? Ashley you stay with me ok? Ashley talk to me!" I swallowed hard, whimpering when I could still taste the brandy and vodka from his mouth and the copper taste of blood

"Spencer..." I could barely find my voice now "Spencer please hurry"

**Ha I'm such a tease. Anyway Thanks to everyone who's reading this. You have no idea how much it means to have you guys spending your time reading this when you should be studying for finals but hey, who am I to judge? I'm the one writing it. **

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Spencer's terrified, Clay's confused, Kyla's out of town, Ethan comes back and Carmen's a bad ass.**


	11. Head Over Heels

**Hey guys! Sorry if I use the ; thing way too much, I just have a writers love affair with it. And just to clear up some questions that could possibly be passing through some minds, no I have not experienced the whole bleeding out until you feel nothing thing. I have however experienced the emotional numbness thing. Sigh, just another perk of being a gay girl in a straight girl's world. **

**P.S. to everyone freaking out about Ashley and Spencer, when did I ever say they'd be getting back together just like that? I tried to make this clear in the last post. Yes they still love each other. Spencer is still far from forgiving her. And yes Ashley is stupid for what she did and not fighting to win Spencer back. But just breathe in and think for a little bit ok? What if I haven't given you all the facts yet? What if, and it's a crazy notion, you don't know what's happening? What will be happening? Just think about this, so far I've only been focusing on Spencer so you don't know what's been going on in the world of Ashley. So just slow your row and take a chill pill. You'll understand everything soon enough. Love is a hell of a lot more complicated than what someone should do and what you can actually do.**

**I can't control the characters; I can only set a path for them to take. But sooner or later they develop a mind of their own and they will run away from my original intentions. If I try to control it, if I try to put them on a leash and make them do what I want, the story falls apart. The story is a character. It does what it wants and I'm just along for the ride.**

**P.S.S. I still love you! Even if you do drive me around the bend!**

**Chapter 11**

_**Spencer**_

I nearly tripped over myself while running towards that bastard's front door. His car wasn't there so that was a good sign, but it didn't leave much hope for Ashley. God what if he hurt her? What if—what if she's bleeding out right now because of something he did? Oh God, what if he shot her? So many "What if"s ran through my mind as I lifted the phone back to my ear

"Ashley? Ashley where are you in Ethan's house? What room are you in?"

"I...I don't know anymore...God Spence, it's so dark in here."

"Ashley. What room?" I was being stern because I was terrified. I couldn't run around the maze of a house while Ashley could be dying. Damn it! Why can't rich people have fucking decent sized houses?

"I don't know" she repeated, she'd stopped crying and didn't sound scared anymore. But that was the most terrifying thing on earth. I know because I was in that place at two different times in my life; the first being when I got shot, when you bleed out enough that you feel nothing at all. The second is when you are hurt so bad by someone you love so much that after you cry for what seems like forever you feel nothing. Just complete and total numbness. Either way, Ethan hurt her bad. And that asshole was going to pay for what he did.

"Ashley can you break something? Throw something or push something over?" she was quiet for a few moments before I heard a loud crash from behind the locked doors in front of me. "Ash is Ethan in there with you?" I asked and she didn't answer.

"Ok just hang on Ashley, I'm going to get you out of there ok?" I put the phone on speaker and placed it next to the door. I backed up and ran at the thick barricade, leaping through the air and slamming my shoulder against it. Bad idea, the door merely shuddered as I threw myself at it, and slid down it and on to the floor. Which wasn't completely surprising. I was a small girl who didn't weigh very much at all. But damn it I was as stubborn as hell and I picked myself up and backed up and threw myself at it yet again. This time with more force. It shook harder this time but still no real improvement.

I kept at it for another five or so minutes until the door finally gave way and I fell flat on my face on the Persian carpet in the study. I groaned for a moment, the wind was knock from my lungs and I'd probably beaten my shoulder all to crap. I looked up and what I saw was something that completely abolished what was left of my heart.

Ashley was laying there in a puddle of what I assumed was liquor, her clothes in tatters and strewn across the floor and under her body. Oh god her body. She was naked and bruised like someone had just used her as a punching bag, her right eye was swollen shut and her wrists looked like they had restraint marks on them.

"oh my god..." I choked out, tears flooding my vision "Ashley..." Ethan had...Ethan raped her? I crawled over to where she laid and didn't know what to do. My hands floated over her body nervously and I gently touched her torso and she flinched away from me whimpering

"No! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please, just please don't hurt me anymore. Please!" She was sobbing and pleading but she couldn't move. I felt the tears pour from my eyes and I wasn't even attempting to stop them. I just gently cupped her face in my hands

"Ashley. Ashley it's ok, Ethan's gone ok? He's not coming back" she opened the one eye she could and looked up at me "I'm not going to hurt you Ashley."

"S-Spencer?" she asked in a voice barely above a breath "Spencer" crystal drops fell from the swollen, purple spot where her eye should've been.

"I'm here Ash" I whispered and pulled her gently into my lap before removing my shirt and putting it on her carefully. I shivered slightly in my bra but I helped Ashley to stand up. "We've got to get you to a hospital" I whispered and she shook her head, instantly I understood. If we brought her to the hospital it'd be like the whole Chris Brown thing all over again. The last thing she needed right now was publicity. She leaned into me heavily as I helped her towards the door "It's ok Ashley, you'll be fine. We're going somewhere to get you help" I said and couldn't believe what I was about to do. Hell must've frozen over.

We drove quickly through the deserted streets, running stop signs and unnecessary red lights. Ashley seemed to be paling beside me and even I knew that was a bad sign. I kept thinking about what I was about to do and kept wondering if I'd gone off my rocker. But it was my only hope to make sure Ashley was ok.

We pulled in the driveway and I walked over to her side, opening the door and unbuckling her. Then slightly awkwardly I lifted her up and made a dash for the door which was more or less a waddle. I kicked the door hard a few times, making sure to be loud enough to wake everyone in the house. I waited the anxiously for someone to open the door and was about to kick it again when it opened and there stood the one person who I never wanted to see ever again.

"Spencer?" Paula asked as I barged past her and towards the living room

"You've gotta help her Paula" I yelled over my shoulder and placed the girl on the couch. Mother-Dearest automatically went into doctor mode. She flicked on the lights and got her medical bag out. It was fully equipped with everything you'd find in a doctors office.

"What happened?" She asked placing the stethoscope over Ashley's heart and listening closely

"I don't know, she called me like ten minutes ago and I went over and her clothes were in tatters, she was covered in bruises...I think he raped her" I murmured and she looked at me for a second

"Who raped her?"

"I don't know" I lied, I knew if I told my mother that it was Ethan Bradshaw she'd call the police. And if the police got involved and arrested him he wouldn't get what was coming to him. I mean, I'm sure he'd get something in prison; everyone knows that rapists and child molesters don't last long behind bars. And seeing as he rape an eighteen year old...he'd be picked off pretty quickly. But what I wanted to do to him would take forever. And I would draw it out, I would make him feel every second of every day. But it wouldn't be in physical pain. He didn't deserve that kindness. I would make him paranoid, like he'd have to keep looking over his shoulder and peeking around every corner with the constant thought that someone was watching him. "Some guys she was seeing, Josh...Josh something." She took my excuse and went back to tending to the crumpled girl

I looked at her as she stood up and walked towards the kitchen. What? I looked back at Ashley and gently stroked her hand. Cold flames lashed in my body and I really needed to beat something, I really needed to break something, anything. But as soon as Ashley whimpered I instantly softened and gently pushed the hair from her face.

"Ashley, Ashley it's ok. We're in a safe place, no one's going to hurt you." Paula came back with a bowl of warm water and a soft cloth, setting them down next to me. She kneeled next to me

"Other than emotional trauma, she's perfectly ok" I nodded and didn't meet her eyes as I began gently wiping Ashley's face with the cloth, cleaning off some dirt and what looked like dried booze.

"what about her eye?" I asked without looking at Paula, just carefully dabbing the bright mark.

"It's just swollen, it should calm down in a couple of day" I felt her hand gently touch my arm and I finally looked at her "Spencer...about what I said...at the funeral..."

"It's nothing. Just forget it" I said and she opened her mouth to say something but I was already picking Ashley up. I couldn't have this heart to heart with my mother. She'd just fall back into her old ways and she'd never truly accept me as who I am. And I also know that she will continue to judge who ever I love and who ever loves me until the end of time. It'll never end. "I'm talking her over to Clay's" I said, knowing she'd want to know where I was going.

Once again I knocked on the door with my foot and Clay answered. It was nearly five in the morning and he was wearing only a pair of shorts with Chelsea wearing a robe over her PJs.

"Look out coming through!" I said and brushed passed them on my way to my temporary bedroom. I heard them following, talking over each other as they kept asking me questions about why Ashley was in that state. I just tossed the car keys over my shoulder awkwardly and laid Ashley down on the bed. Ash had been passed out for the past half hour, finally asleep and I hated to wake her up but I needed her to get dressed. I needed her to be clothed. No, it wasn't because I thought that something might happen between us if she was naked. It was more like she needed to feel less vulnerable than she did now. She needed to feel safe.

I gently shook her shoulder, hating the way that she flinched under my touch. "Ashley? Ashley you've got to wake up. You've got to—" I was caught off guard when her fist slammed into my face and she shrieked. She wasn't very loud but she had a nasty right hook "Ow! Jesus Christ almighty Ash!" I said covering my nose which I was sure was bleeding. She blinked at me for a few seconds

"Oh, oh Spencer I'm so sorry. I thought he came back. I thought you were him" I just shook my head, still trying to stop my nose bleed "Are you ok?"

"No, not really" I said grabbing a tissue from the bedside table. "Are you ok?" She shook her head sadly and looked up to the ceiling with her one good eye

"No, not really" she sighed and I couldn't stop myself from wiping the blood from my nose and climbing in the bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her delicate frame. She seemed so small and she was trying so hard to be strong but as soon as I pulled her against me she broke down and buried her face against me. I gently stroked her hair as she sobbed into my chest, wanting so bad to take her pain away.

I didn't even notice I'd fallen asleep until the bright light of the early morning sun blinded me. Ashley was still curled up against me and my arms were still around her. Chelsea knocked on the door and pushed it open, Terry in her arms and she sat on the foot of the bed.

"Now do you mind telling me why exactly there is a half naked Ashley with a black eye in your bed?" I just shook my head

"It doesn't matter now" I whispered, gently rubbing the girls back

"I thought you didn't like her anymore" Chelsea said almost smugly and I really didn't need this right now.

"Just being I'm still really, really pissed off and hurt doesn't mean I don't care about her. It also doesn't mean I've taken her back. She just really needs me now." I said and felt Ashley stir gently against me and open her eye.

"Spencer? What time is it?" She asked, and I just pushed her messy hair from her face

"it doesn't matter" I murmured and she realised I was holding her. She relaxed into me further until she realised that Terry and Chelsea were in the room then she sat up.

"Hi...Chelsea" she said awkwardly and looked at Terry as the little girl held her arms out for her. "Hey Terry, how are you?" she timidly reached out and touched the small child's hand.

"We should get ready" I said climbing out of bed and walking to my duffle bag. I couldn't handle the sweet family moment, no matter how much I wanted to stay. My heart still ached from what she did and it ached for what HE did and it was agonizing to think that this is how it was supposed to be. Ashley and me with family and being together like nothing ever happened. But it did. She broke my heart into fifty-billion pieces and I still somehow had the damn need to have her in my arms. To chase away the nightmares that haunted her. But we'd made a promise the day that she'd given me the phone, though we didn't actually say it out loud, we'd promised each other to try and be friends again. To try and fix our relationship.

"Where are we going?" Ashley asked and I took out a pair of sweats for her to wear along with a t-shirt

"Well, Carmen wanted me to go to one of their softball games tonight and I was hoping that maybe if you were up to it..." I know she was still dealing with the whole Ethan thing but I saw this as a way for her to get past it. For a way to start our new friendship off. She thought for a second before nodding

"That'd be great"

We sat in the bleachers of the park and watched everyone playing ball. It was fun and no one seemed to notice that Ashley was in fact Ashley. Though the hoodie and sunglasses she was wearing probably helped that out. Carmen was of course not completely thrilled I'd brought Ashley, then again she wasn't completely thrilled about anything Ashley was involved with. But as Carmen got up to plate, holding her bat in her signature killer stance she crushed the ball sending it flying to the fence. Instantly everyone in the stands stood up, screaming for her to run which she did and ended up getting a triple.

The game ended nearly as fast as it had begun and the concession was closing up. I turned to Ashley

"I'm going to get a pop or something, do you...want anything?" I asked and she just shook her head, a timid smile on her lips. "Oh come on Ash, you've got to be thirsty or hungry. We just sat through an eight-inning two and a half hour game." I could tell she rolled her eyes at me and giggled a little bit. It was the first time I'd seen her happy in a while. It was nice.

"ok ok fine" she said with faux exasperation "um...some water?" she asked like checking if that enough to satisfy me. I smiled when she did and I'm ashamed to admit it was just like when we were falling in love the first time. My heart was fluttering and her smile made the butterflies that were long dead in my stomach come to life. I WAS falling in love with her all over again. How the hell do you fall in love with the same person who broke your heart, the same person you caught cheating on you, the same person...you were already in love with?

"ok, water it is!" I said and jumped down from the bleachers and ran over to where the concession was about to close. I still had time to figure out my feelings and figured out how to take it slow. It was really hard not to fall back into routine, it was really hard not to kiss her or hold her like I used to. But I could figure everything out right? I mean I could take my time in understanding that Ashley and I could maybe be like we were but it would take a lot of healing and a hell of a lot of time.

_**Ashley**_

I watched Spencer jog back towards the concession with a stupid smile on my face. How could I have been so moronically stupid? How could I have trashed the one thing that meant more to me than life itself? I loved her. I truly do. And I was so fucked up and so damn sorry about what I did that it crushed me. And with what Ethan did to me last night...I realised that I had made the biggest mistake of my entire life.

I climbed off the bleachers and leaned against the metal frame work, waiting for Spencer to come back. I was so glad she'd answered her phone. I was so glad she'd helped me when I didn't deserve it. She'd saved my life so many times and the only thing I've been able to do was break her heart. But God damn it I'm going to fix it! I am going to show her that Ethan was obviously a mistake. And I am going to prove to her that she is the one for me. The only one for me. I was about to walk towards where Spencer was still waiting in line when I saw someone who shot fear through my heart and made me want to run.

"Ethan"

"Hey baby" he said with a smug grin and sunglasses covering his eyes. He looked like he just woke up. He walked towards me and I held out my hand for him to stop.

"Just—Just stay back alright! Don't come near me!"

"Aw baby is this about last night? I was totally wasted out of my mind. Let's just kiss and make up alright?" this time he did grab me. He grabbed the spot he did yesterday on my arm and wrenched me towards him. I screamed and Spencer looked over, instantly sprinting towards us. Ethan saw as Spencer closed the distance and pulled me towards him, wrapping one arm around my neck like I was a hostage in a robbery. Tears clouded my vision. His touch, his voice, his scent all made me relive last night like it was happening to me right now. He still smelt like alcohol and cigarettes. I didn't want him near me and his grip around my neck was too tight, I needed air.

_**Spencer**_

"Let her go Ethan!" I yelled and people started leaving, they didn't want to be caught up in whatever the hell was going on. So nice of everyone.

"Shut up dyke!" he spat, and I backed up to the bleachers, grabbing a few stones from where a little kid had been trying to make a rock castle. I did it discreetly. I knew if he saw me he'd do something to Ashley. He'd hurt her again. "Just let me take my baby back with me and we'll all be good right?" I clenched the rock in my fist, waiting for a chance to whip it at his head. I needed a clear shot, but he wasn't giving me one. I gave up on the stone thing quickly and instead prepared to charge full speed at him to try and knock him off his feet and give Ashley a chance to get away.

I walked forward slowly, not quickly because I knew he'd try to make a break for it. But before I could run at him there was the quick whip of something cutting the air and Ethan's head snapped to the side. he fell over unconscious and Ashley ran into my arms. I held her close and looked at Carmen who had been behind Ethan, the baseball bat in her hand was in full rotation of her swing. She hit Ethan. She save Ashley. She just glared at his limp body and then smirked cockily at me, resting the aluminum bat on her shoulder.

"Homerun."

**There you go. Sorry for everyone not freaking out about the whole Ashley and Spencer thing who did read my rant but I just don't like it when I make things clear, people don't get it so I still have to clarify. But you know. It's all good. **

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Spashley are pulling it together as friends, Carmen's adjusting, and Ashley's late.**


	12. Possitively Negative

**Hey guys! **

**Chapter 12**

_**Ashley**_

It had been a week since the rape and amazingly I was doing ok. I had nightmares, still a little mentally fucked up but I was ok. Spencer was being really great, amazingly great. She was constantly worrying about everything, from how I was feeling to how my eye was doing. I could see out of now but it was still pretty bruised. We were actually getting somewhere as friends, I mean we were still at each other's throats every now and then but it was getting easier. There still was a hell of a lot of tension between us. I mean with history like ours, with all the nights we've spent together, it's not easy to get past it. Also with what I did to her...I could tell she was being cautious. Protecting herself. Which is understandable but really not necessary; I never plan to hurt her ever again.

When Carmen whacked Ethan over the side of the head we simply called the ambulance and left. We didn't wait around and we didn't explain the situation. Spencer wanted to handle this her way, which would probably include some form of violence in the end. I just wanted him dead. I didn't want Ethan Bradshaw to exist.

I sat in the bedroom that Spencer and I were sharing and awkwardly wrapped the gift for Theresa. It was about four in the morning and I figured by the time I understood how exactly to wrap a teddy-bear it'd be pretty much be noon.

"Ashley?" Spencer asked sitting up in the bed and rubbing her eyes "What the hell are you doing up this early?" she grumbled and I just smiled and shook my head

"Wrapping Terry's present." She shot out of bed nearly screaming

"Oh shit! It's her birthday! Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" and dove into her duffle bag and pulling out a small T-shirt with big white letters on it reading "That's What She Said", baby converse and a tiny plush puppy.

"Somehow..." I began and watched her sit next to me "I knew that you'd get her something very tom-boyish." She looked at me, suddenly very self conscious

"What? You think I should have gotten her something else? I couldn't exactly afford a mini convertible but—" I put my hand on her knee and couldn't help but giggle from her constant, nervous rambling.

"It's fine Spencer, I was just kidding around" She smiled at me sheepishly and tried to fold the small shirt with no luck at all.

"How the hell do they expect you to fold something this freaking small?" She growled and I rolled my eyes, taking the small article of clothing from her and folding it. Spencer just looked at me and flopped back on the ground.

"I give up! You wrap them. I am like the super fail" I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration

"No you're not the 'Super Fail'. Now sit up and wrap your own damn presents" I teased and she obeyed. I cut out the size of wrapping paper she'd need and she just stared at it blankly. I sighed "Do you need help?"

"Yes please"

After giving Terry her presents, which she loved though Clay and Chelsea weren't too pleased about the T-shirt, Spencer promised me she'd take me out to get something to eat. We got into the car and started driving and I couldn't help but worry about myself.

It wasn't your typical shallow Ashley worrying about herself; it was more like I was late. I mean with the whole time of the month thing. I was almost four days late by now. This could just be like I don't know...it could mean nothing. Or it could mean a whole hell of a lot. I hadn't told Spencer but it was inevitable that I'd have to, so what better time than now right? Hopefully she doesn't take out an entire lane of traffic but I really didn't see a better time.

"Uh Spencer..." I started and she looked over at me, rasping her thumb on the steering wheel with the rhythm of the music "Um...I uh...I'm late" She looked at me like I was crazy

"What? What are you late fo—oh." She pulled over and parked the car. "Are you sure?" She asked me, and I shrugged trying to seem indifferent. I was completely freaked out. "It's ok Ashley, We'll just um...we'll just get a pregnancy test for you" and I heard her say under her breath "And a paper bag for me"

We sat at the bakery beside the super market, drinking coffee and eating donuts. I wanted Spencer back in my life. Not just as a friend but as more than that. And right now, I really wanted to know she'd forgive me, even though the chance of that ever happening was slim to none. I reached across the table and took her hand gently in mine, her face darkened. She knew what was coming.

"Spencer..." I began, gently stroking my thumb over her smooth skin "Spence, I really want to talk to you about something. About me and Ethan. About what happened." She wanted to pull her hand back it was easy to tell but she also wanted to hear what explanation I had. "I was scared ok? I was confused and I-I didn't know what I wanted" she pulled her hand away, not liking what she was hearing

"That's when you come and you talk to me like a responsible adult!" She wasn't yelling, she didn't want to cause a scene. Not yet at least. "I would have understood Ashley" she said a little calmer than before. "If you had just talked to me, just told me you needed a little time..." she put on her sunglasses, covering the emotion.

"I know, Spence ok? I know. But you know me, you-you know how screwed up I am and how I don't usually go about things the right way." I couldn't tell what she was feeling right now. "When I told Ethan that I loved him, when you walked in on us..." she looked away, she didn't want to relive that moment

"Can we not talk about that Ash?"

"We have to Spencer. We have to because if we don't...we'll never get past it and you will never understand that I don't actually love him. That I never loved him and that I never will."

"Then why did you say it?" She demanded fiercely

"Because I was tired of being 'Ashley lesbian Davies'. No one stared if I kissed a boy in the park. No one stared if I rested my head on his shoulder." She folded her arms over her chest

"I do understand that part Ashley." She murmured looking at me with a calculating expression, I looked at her with surprise. What?

"Really? But I thought.."

"You thought that just because I knew I was gay when I was little that I wouldn't be super self conscious of everyone who stared at me? I even tried to be with guys, I tried to hug them and kiss them because I was scared like you were - are."

"Were" I corrected her and she nodded with acknowledgement

"But in the end I understood what I wanted. I didn't care that people would stare if I kissed a girl in the park. Because no one else matters Ash. I wasn't about pretend to be boy crazed just so everyone else could live comfortably. Just so everyone could pretend like I was one of them."

"I know, I know Spencer ok? I see that now. Just please, please give me another chance." I was begging and pleading to her now. I wanted her back so badly and it'd be a miracle if she accepted my apology and forgave me. But she wouldn't. "I will never hurt you again Spencer, I will never trash your feelings the way I did. I will never destroy you the way I did. Because if I ever have to see that look of total heartbreak on your face again, I don't think I could continue living...because I love you too much to ever be the cause of your pain, ever again." I saw her lip quiver ever so slightly and she took off her glasses, setting them down on the table. She looked at me with an emotion in her eyes that I couldn't even begin to describe. All I know is it gave me a sense of hope.

"I will never be able to forgive you for what you did to me." Her voice was cold and I nodded

"I know. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it. If you'll let me." She shook her head slightly and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I can't take you back right now." She said, leaned against the table, her arms supporting her "I can't go back to that place we were at when this whole thing started. Not yet. But let's start as friends, let's take it slow and maybe some day...who knows? Maybe we'll be back to where we were." I was thankful she'd let me get this far and she was at least willing to try again.

We bought a box of pregnancy tests and headed over to my place. Spencer waited patiently in the TV room.

_**Spencer**_

Ashley disappeared inside the bathroom and I waited patiently, watching some cartoon. I didn't know what it was, I didn't see it. My mind was too ravelled in the thought of what it would mean if Ashley was pregnant. What it would mean if Ethan Bradshaw's child was living inside her body. The thought made me feel a little sick. What if he were to find out about it? What was his plan if that possessive asshole knew his spawn was inside of Ashley? What was I going to do if Ashley really was pregnant? I mean I would be there for her during the abortion. I would support her with whatever she chose to do. But she wouldn't keep the baby right? I mean the baby would be a constant reminder of when Ethan raped her.

Ashley walked out of the bathroom, holding the little stick thing in her hand and placed it on the table.

"It's still uh...it's still marinating" she said, trying to make a joke. I could tell how flustered and worried she was. "but its just a hunch right? I mean, just because I'm late doesn't mean I'm pregnant." I sat down as she paced, wondering who she was trying to convince; me or her. "I can't be pregnant, I'm in high school! I'm not ready to be a mother! I mean I can't be pregnant" I stood up and caught the girl in mid step, gently pushing a lock of hair from her face.

"Ash it's going to be ok. No matter what happens. Alright?" She looked at me for a second before shaking her head slightly

"I'm not pregnant." And she broke out of my grasp and continued pacing. I glanced over at the pregnancy test and sighed.

"I think that little pink plus begs to differ" I muttered and she froze looking at it before picking it up

"oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, NO!" and she started freaking out drastically, pacing around the room at a jogging speed.

Well fuck.

**There you go. Thanks for all the reviews they are greatly appreciated. Now if you'll excuse me I'll just go back to freaking out about school after missing the entire week before finals.**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Ashley has to make a decision and Spencer doesn't know what to think. **


	13. Simple?

**Hey! **

**Chapter 13**

_**Ashley**_

I sat in my living room with my face in my hands, now it was Spencer's turn to pace. This so was not happening. How could this happen? This was just a big misunderstanding. This kid was not mine, the child growing inside me right now did not belong, well, inside me. She sat down next to me and gently wrapped an arm around my shoulder

"Ash, its going to be ok" she murmured and leaned her head against my shoulder "We'll figure out what to do. Together." I looked at her and she didn't look back at me "Just as friends" I had enough of this friendship bull. I wanted Spencer more than words could express. I swivelled around and crouched in front of her on the floor. She looked down at me, it was obvious she was conflicted

"I don't want to be friends Spence." I said and took her hands in mine. Even in the crisis I only wanted us. I wanted there to be an US. "I want so much more than that"

"Like what Ashley? Lovers? Partners?" I nodded at her, falling onto my knees and even closer to her,

"Yes, that is exactly what I want Spence. I want there to be us again. Not Spencer or Ashley, not Carlin or Davies."

"What happens when another Ethan comes along?" She asked, her voice was cold and cut into me. But I couldn't let her go now. Not now. She was so close to me, so soft, so caring and yet pissed off and angry

"Not going to happen Spence" I murmured and rested my hands on her thighs, she didn't pull away which was a positive sign. It meant she was actually thinking about being with me again. It meant she still loved me. "It's not going to happen because now I realise that…that there is no Ashley without Spencer. There's no me without you to complete the picture. I miss you so much Spencer. I was selfish and careless…" I gently rested a hand on her shoulder and looked up into her beautiful blue eyes, feeling her warmth from her love and I needed her. She was so pure, so brilliant that it made me want to cry. She was the one for me. I need her like I need air to breathe. "But I've changed, I've become a better person and I've gotten smarter. I've realised what I lost and I am scrambling through everything to figure out how to get you back. And I will make everything right again Spencer" She looked away for a second, collecting herself before looking back down at me.

"I wish I could believe you" She said a little louder than a whisper and shook her head slightly "I wish I could—" I threw myself forward at her, attaching my lips to hers and pushing her back on the couch so she laid straight on her back. She didn't hesitate to kiss me back for a few seconds, I nearly whimpered at the familiarity of her body against mine. I could remember every thing she and I had been through and every time we'd kissed. Everywhere we'd kissed. From the back of my car to our—my bedroom. From the morning before the shooting to the day she'd woken up. She was mine as much as I was hers. And I know she felt it too.

She pulled away suddenly and turned her head away from me, closing her eyes "Please get off of me Ashley." She whispered and I looked at her

"Spencer—"

"Please Ashley." I obeyed hesitantly; I really wanted her to understand just how much I cared.

"Spencer I'll do anything" I said and she shook her head

"What if I told you to save the world from an asteroid Ash?" I paused for a brief moment, just trying to understand why exactly she'd ask that question of all the other questions to ask...

"Then I'd need to find some spandex and a cape but I'd do it." She shook her head and was about to say something before I cut her off "But you wouldn't have to ask me Spencer. If you were ever in any danger of any kind I'd throw myself in front of you or I'd—I'd push you out of the way. You mean too much for me to ever let you get hurt. Ever again." She just looked away from me then turned back, she was guarded again. She set up walls to block me from getting in.

"Just figure out what you're going to do with your little bundle of joy before you try to win me back ok?" I looked down and she stood up, grabbing her bag and heading off towards the stairs "I'll call you later, I promised Carmen I'd go see her" She called over her shoulder and I just watched her leave, watched her walked down those stairs and leave me alone. She was always thinking ahead. She always knew what I needed more than I did. I needed to be alone right now and I need to handle one problem before I work on another.

_**Spencer**_

"Pregnant?" Carmen looked at me like I was both insane and a god "How the hell did you manage to get another girl pregnant!" I rolled my eyes

"I didn't get her pregnant."

"How do you know?" At this point I started to wonder if she was joking around or dead serious

"Well considering the fact that I don't have the necessary PARTS to impregnate another woman I think I'm in the clear." She smiled smugly at me and handed me a coke

"Not true."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the lesbian lizard" I looked at her for a second. Yup she's totally gone around the bend, twice and is starting another lap. "It's this lizard that lives in the desert somewhere and there are only females left" she sat down next to me and sipped her coke

"That doesn't mean anything. They have to die out sometime without a male right?" She smiled again. She was about to pull the rug out from under my feet.

"That's where the brilliant part is" she sipped her coke leisurely "See, the lizard just needs two females to act out the mating like they would with a male and a female and TADA! The lizard playing the female role gets pregnant."

"Bullshit" I said and put my coke down "That is complete and total bull. To act out the mating ritual as a male and a female one of them would have to have male genitals." Carmen looked at me like I was a moron. Not far from how I felt right then and there.

"You can have sex with girls right?" I nodded slowly, not seeing what point she was attempting to make

"So, just like you, the girl lizards get frisky with each other, they hump and blah blah blah and the simple motion of the female lizard on top allows for the bottom lizard to get herself knocked up." I stared blankly at her

"How the hell do you know this?" She rolled her eyes

"Discovery channel"

"Hey wait a second! You totally did not suggest that I'm a lesbian lizard did you?" She shook her head

"Not you. The Davies Diva"

"Last time I checked she's not a reptile"

"But she's got cold blood" I rolled my eyes. I so was not in the mood for Carmen's digs at Ashley right now. I rolled my eyes and she chuckled then raised her can "Here's to the only mammal on earth who doesn't need a man to do what men can do" I shook my head slightly and clinked my can to hers. "Hey you know that guy I bashed over the head with my baseball bat?" I nodded "Who was he, why was he after Diva and who's the father?" I remembered then that I hadn't explained anything to Carmen. She just agreed to keep her mouth shut. I reached into my duffle bag and pulled out this mornings news paper

"Ethan Bradshaw in Serious Condition"

She blinked a few times

"Don't tell me I whacked some big record producer..." I just gave her a "you really did" look and she groaned "Fantastic"

"He was going after Ash because he uh...he kind of hurt her the night before..."

"And by hurt I assume you mean he forced himself on her" I just looked down, angry that she had some sort of mind reading ability " and that answers both question two and three." She said and set the newspaper down "Is she going to keep it?" Carmen asked and I looked at her. Why would Ashley keep the baby of the man who raped her?

"Why would she? Why would she want to have the child of the man who raped her?" She winced under my words "What?"

"The father can't touch the child ok? Just because this Ethan asshole got her all knocked up doesn't mean that little baby is going to be as fucked up as he is"

"How do you know Carmen?" I challenged and she stood up, holding her arms out to the side

"Look at me! Do I seem like a fucked up little asshole to you?" I blinked at her why would she exactly?

"Uh...yes...no but why would that..." oh hell. Oh FUCK. "Oh Car, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." She just shook her head at me

"It doesn't matter now."

"If I'd known that your mother was...that you are..."

"A little Rape-Child" she finished for me and I looked down "Look Spencer, just promise me you'll give the kid a chance before you kill it. Or give it away or whatever. I mean you could have a little Carmen on your hands." She said with a smug smile

"What if it's a boy?" she gave me a slightly disgruntled look and shrugged

"I never said he wouldn't get beat up, but Momma Spencer could defend the small Diva Cub"

"You say that like its my child" she scoffed and sat back down

"Are you kidding me Spencer? You are SO with Ashley and that child will SO be yours" I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to talk about my relationship with Ashley. It was too confusing and too fucked up for me to handle right now. And with the baby still in between living and dying...I shook my head

"When did things get so fucking complicated Carmen?" She patted me on the back

"The day you moved to LA"

_**Ashley**_

I sat on my couch and stared at the phone. I'd meant to call the abortion clinic. I really had. But I couldn't even fathom killing a child. I mean I was all pro-choice and all but when it came down to it, even though I was pregnant with the child of a monster, I couldn't go through life knowing that I'd killed my baby. Because no matter whom the father was, he or she was still mine.

"I'm so fucked up" I said and put my face into my hands, until I heard Spencer yelling for me from downstairs.

"Ashley! Ash are you still here?" she ran all the way up the stairs and when she saw me she stopped a foot away and started panting "Ash...did you...go...to the...clinic...yet?" She asked in between ragged breaths and I shook my head

"No Spencer, I didn't...I mean I tried to but—"

"I think you should keep the baby" she said and finally caught her breath. She was blunt I was shocked. She wanted me to keep it? The child of the man that I'd cheated on her with?

"What? Why? I thought you wanted me to get rid of it?" Now I was not only torn but morbidly confused. What the hell is going through Spencer's head.

"Well...I mean I got to thinking...that maybe, maybe the child doesn't disserve to be given away or whatever just because Ethan's an asshole." She said quickly and looked away

"So...you just thought of this out of the blue? Just like 'hey I think Ashley should keep a rapists baby'?" She looked at me and took my hands in her

"Ash, you know how you said you'd do anything to get me back?" Oh fuck, I knew that'd come back to bite me in the ass.

"You want me to keep the baby...for you?" I was a little off balance but I saw the look of pain in her eyes and she answered almost hesitantly

"No, but...I don't know." She let go of my hands and walked a little ways away "I mean...I guess I want to have a good functioning family. You know, a family that wont judge me if I kiss a girl in the park. A family that wants to be around me even if I'd disappointed them...I mean sure I've got Clay and I've got Chelsea and Terry but whenever I'm around them and in their home I feel like a tag along. Like the annoying little sister that always wants to play with the big kids." She looked at me and I had sympathy for her, but I was an only child until about six months ago. And I'm the oldest.

"But I thought, I thought they were happy to have you around"

"They are. I mean they say they are but..."

"But what?"

"I don't want to be a tag along. I don't want to pretend that I'm happy where I am..." she shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes and turned away "Now I'm making a complete fool of myself ans she headed for the stairs.

"Spencer" I said and grabbed her wrist "you are not making a fool of yourself." She pulled away and continued towards the lower levels

"Just call me when you've thought about it alright?" she called over her shoulder and for the second time that day I just watched her leave.

So, just to break it down for everyone, Spencer wants me to keep the baby but not for me and not for her but for said unborn child who couldn't possibly be affected by the fact that his or her father is a complete and total psychotic rapist/record producer but then again said child who is currently growing inside me could be affected with the evil taint that fills his or her father, and once again Spencer wants me to keep the child because she wants a functioning family much unlike the one she is currently apart of which could be a good sign considering that I would automatically be a part of said family because said child is coming from my body which would mean that Spencer and I would be family which could ultimately end my Spashley dilemma but If I do keep said unborn child it could cause problems and huge blow out of my privacy and personal life not to mention the fact that sooner or later I'd have to actually say I was raped which isn't good for either side. Simple? Ha! Not even close.

**There you have it. Yes I broke my vow to not post this week but I needed a break. First day back and I've got three hundred hours of homework. Which I haven't started on...at all. So I guess I'll leave you with that and everything will be fine.**

**P.S. The last huge run on sentence you've got to read out loud without taking a break, because that's the way it sounded in my head...yup. **

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Spashley decide to take things to the next level AKA barely even girlfriends and Ashley has a difficult time hiding the pregnancy from Kyla.**


	14. Secrets and Distressed Lesbians

**Hey! **

**Chapter 14 **

_**Ashley**_

Spencer and I were finally back on the road to where we were, though she chose to drive our relationship a mile an hour, and I was happy that she'd actually agreed to start over. I looked at her from where she was making a phone call to her brother, just checking in, and couldn't help but feel amazed as I always did. This girl was it. She was everything and more to me, like a human oxygen tank when I was suffocating in a world where nothing made sense anymore.

it was roughly three weeks since Spencer told me she wanted to keep the baby and I was confused and conflicted about how I would either hide it from Kyla or tell her. Seeing as how she was so appalled by what I did with Ethan she left to go back home and finish her schooling there but was coming back to visit. Ethan was out of the hospital and Spencer had made sure to keep a surveillance on him to make sure he wasn't coming anywhere near me. Apparently she'd made connections while she was off the radar, she wouldn't tell who exactly but she'd made a point of checking in with them daily. And when ever I'd ask who it was she just tell me 'Don't worry Ash' 'They're not gangsters or hit men' blah blah blah. I still didn't trust it.

I was still attending school regularly but I'd stop going as soon as I was beginning to show. Spencer and I had already decided that we'd skip town and find somewhere that we could go to have the baby with out the paparazzi and where I wasn't completely well known. Maybe Canada.

Spencer hung up the phone and walked over to me, wrapping me in a hug. I hadn't realized how upset I was until I felt her embrace and soft, comforting murmurs.

"Ash its ok babe. Soon enough we'll be finished with this whole mess and everything will be better. I promise" I wish I could believe her but her words only gave me comfort when she said them, not at night when I was all alone in the dark, thoughts and memories of that night swirling around my head like vultures. Not when all I could think about was who my baby was and who it will be. I don't know what I'd do if he or she was Ethan Bradshaw reincarnated. I don't know if I could live with hating my own child. I just can't see how a mother ever could.

She let go of me and sat down on the couch. I joined her and rested my head on her shoulder. Kyla was going to be home in a few minutes, with out a doubt Aiden would be picking her up and they'd do other things that made me nauseous just thinking about it. Puke.

There were excited barks echoing up the stairs that woke me up. I guess it'd been more than a few minutes since Aiden and Kyla met up...double puke. I heard her heels clacking on the floor but didn't bother to open me eyes. I could feel Spencer's soft body under my head and the heat of her skin against mine which was comforting obviously. It seemed that if Spencer was there when I slept I wouldn't have to relive that one night that sent my world crashing to the ground. The soft rise and fall of her chest was like I was little again and taking a nap with my dad.

"Gee, looks like two somebody's got back together." I heard her annoying voice jibe but I couldn't be bothered with that right now. Spencer didn't stir but, by the now irregular rise and fall of her chest, I knew she was awake; she just had the same need to ignore my sister that I did. "HEY!" she yelled right by my ear and I jumped which sent Spencer into attack mode. She was still jumpy, still worried that Ethan would try to hurt me again. She was also overly protective of the baby. And when I fell to the ground on my ass Spencer automatically leapt off the couch and "accidentally" knocked over Kyla who fell to the floor. Spencer helped me up and gently brushed off my clothes

"You ok?" she asked and I rolled my eyes and pulled my hair out of my face

"Yes, yes Spencer I'm fine. Nothing happened" I reassured her and was touched about how much she was worrying. This baby was one lucky kid to have a mother like Spencer. I subconsciously touched my stomach where the baby should be and I saw the look of complete adoration cross the blonde's delicate features.

"Ok" she breathed and lightly pecked my cheek.

"Oh hi Spence" Kyla muttered still on the ground. Spencer looked over at her as Aiden walked in and helped her up. "good to see you too." Spencer just turned back to me and gently kissed my forehead. God in that moment it was like it should be all the time. Spencer was amazing, and I know I've said that five million times but it was true. I loved her so much. More than I loved my own life or my sister's or my father's. Aiden looked at us and the same perverse smile crept across his face

"Are you two sleeping together?" I rolled my eyes at the blunt literalness of the question.

"Yes Aiden" I said and Spencer looked at me for a second, slight confusion crossing her face "We were sleeping together on the couch ha, ha very funny." Spencer clued in and smiled slightly before turning to Kyla

"Sorry Ky, I did mean to bowl you over like that" Kyla nodded

"It's ok Spence," she suddenly grabbed Spencer's Arm "O MY GOD! I haven't seen you in like so, so, so LONG! You've got to tell me EVERYTHING that happened and everything that you did!" Spencer glanced back at me as my little teeny-bopper of a sister dragged my girlfriend out of the room and towards the kitchen. I gave a small nod that meant it was ok and that I was fine. Spencer allowed for the girl to tow her away and I was left alone in the room with Aiden who sat on the couch, arms resting along the back

"So how's my favourite confused lesbian?"

"Ha, where do I begin..."

_**Spencer**_

Kyla sat me down at the breakfast bar

"Do you want a drink? Wine, champagne—" I cut her off quickly

"I don't drink" I muttered, mental wincing with the cold, sharp edge to my voice, and she looked at me with slight shock but nodded quickly and poured me a glass of water instead. I looked at my folded hands on the cold marble trying to calm down. I didn't mean to be so harsh, I didn't purposely snap at Kyla like that. I just...God I don't even know. I was so worried about Ash, I was so worried about Ethan and, most of all, I was so worried about the baby. I mean, I wanted the baby. I wanted to give someone else a life I wish I'd had. A family experience I wish was mine that every child should have. But what if I don't disserve to be happy? What if I've done something so bad in a past life that, in addition to everything I've done in this one, it's my turn to get the short end of the stick?

I wanted a functional family. I want my son or daughter to feel loved and accepted no matter what, even if their biological father is Satan himself. I want them to know that no matter what happens I'll be there for them.

"Spencer?" I looked up at Kyla who held the glass out to me. "You ok?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I'm fine. Just tired is all." I said and took a small swig of the water before setting it down and looking up to find a very curious looking Kyla. "Nothing much happened Ky, I just skipped from town to town...nothing too drastic." I knew my vagueness was only going to peak her interest even further but with everything happening...I needed to keep her in the dark. I needed to keep her out of this in order to protect Ashley. As much as I loved Kyla, the girl couldn't keep her mouth shut when pressed by the paparazzi.

"Bullshit" She muttered under her breath and sipped some wine. I glanced over at Ash in the living room with Aiden, just talking and seeming relaxed. The vibe coming from them was calming and I smiled slightly, this was awesome.

I slept over at Ash's place, on the couch in the TV room. Well not so much sleeping as staring at the ceiling, enjoying the calm. It was great. At least until I heard Ash scream.

I leapt off the couch and sprinted down the small hall and towards the bedroom, my heart pounding hard in my chest. I could hear Kyla's footsteps behind me as I burst in the room and found Ashley sitting up in bed, with her knees pulled to her chest and sobbing uncontrollably. I climbed in next to her and kneeled there

"Ash, Ashley I'm not going to hurt you ok?" she nodded slowly almost hesitaantly You're fine and he won't hurt you anymore" I wrapped my arm around her gently and she hid her face in my chest and hugged me closely. I was still for a moment and carefully lowered us to the bed, pulling her closer to me. I shushed her softly as she cried against my chest "Ashley you're ok. Hush baby you're fine" she gripped me closely and I gently lowered her back onto the bed.

"Make him go away Spence, please...make him go away" I gently stroked her head and kissed her forehead

"I will Ash, I promise you. No one will ever hurt you again" I looked up at the dark silhouette at the door. Kyla didn't say anything but the tension between us was obvious to what she wanted. She wanted to know what was happening. She wanted to know why her sister was so broken. And I was going to tell her. I wouldn't have a choice.

**Sorry it took so long to update! I was recovering from finals...it was a long process but I've pulled through! Yay me! **

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**What'll happen when rumours spread of the possibility of yet two more secret Davies children? Tensions on the rise ends with the paparazzi and Spencer loses it, both her temper and her grip on her sanity, on one stubborn photographer. **


	15. Mantolli Twins and Davies Daughters

**Uh...hey guys (if I still have readers)...long time no see? Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was on vacation and then I did something incredibly stupid with a potentially deadly weapon...Long story short, let's just say morons, such as myself, should not be trusted with sharp blades while there is lack of parental super vision. But don't worry I'm fine, a few stitches and I was as good as new. I could barely use my left hand for a while so I couldn't update. **

**Without further explanation of my complete and total idiocy, the long awaited Chapter 15**

**(WARNING: massive swearing and violence and a family detonation)**

**Chapter 15**

_**Spencer**_

Yet another week passed with constant panic on my end and never ending escape plans to get away from Kyla. She was like my conscious or something. I would see her upstairs so I'd run down stairs and TA-DA there she was! I'd pulled out every mean, hurtful, sarcastic comment I had to dodge her questions about Ashley, hell I'd even saluted her like Hitler and referred to her as "Adolfa". Which needless to say she didn't find too amusing.

And it was getting harder and harder to avoid her. With Ashley's personality and attitude changing drastically everyday Kyla and Aiden were constantly dogging me. Ashley was fine on the outside, she laughed, she smiled but underneath it all she was crumbling. She was reliving the rape over and over again, day in day out. She burned her clothes from that night, she was destroying bottles of alcohol and she'd freak out if someone locked a door.

I couldn't ask her about it. I couldn't force her to go through that pain again, to relive that night in the waking world. It hurt me so much to see how hard she crashes to the ground whenever something brings her back to Ethan. It wasn't healthy, it wasn't good for her or the baby. And when I turned on the TV it gave me another problem. Ashley walked into the room, still in her boxer shorts and a tank top.

"Hey baby" She yawned, she'd just woken up from a nap and it was roughly five, just in time for Tabloid-TV. Ha, that's so like Ash, all about the scoop. She walked over to where I was sitting on the couch and curled up beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped one arm around her and pulled her closer, resting one hand on her stomach. There was a small bump, barely enough to be noticeable even by touch and it was invisible by vision alone. That's when the news hit us. Hard.

A pretty blonde appeared on the screen wearing tight black jeans and some kind of blouse-like thing. I've never had a thing for fashion. I'm more of a "Sensible shoes" lesbian unless Ashley dressed me, which just happened to be one of those days might I add. The high heels were killing my feet, the skinny jeans throttling my legs and the jacket she gave me was made of thin fabric that bunched up at the elbow, making me look like I was really buff from the end of my forearm up. the reporter smiled at the camera

"Hello and welcome to Entertainment tonight. Our leading story, after the unveiling of Kyla Woods being a long lost Davies daughter, could there be yet two more Davies under-wraps?" a flash of two people, very recognizable people, appeared across the screen. One a beautiful woman with a thin face, jade green eyes, high cheek bones, curly light brown hair just past her shoulders and blemish less skin, easily stunning by anyone's standard and one handsome man with short, dark, naturally spiky hair, chiselled jaw, green eyes, and, much like the woman, drop dead gorgeous.

"Kendall and Zach Mantolli, adoptive son and daughter of alleged mobster, Tony Mantolli, have been rumoured to actually be the twin children of one of the Davies brothers." Ashley tensed and sat up, the dark circles under her eyes evident now. "Neither Kendall nor Zach have confirmed or denied the accusation but have been ducking the paparazzi." The screen cut to a picture of the famous cosmetic enterprise owner Kendall Mantolli and her infamous slightly insane and violent, also alleged mobster twin brother Zach trying to fight their way through a crowd of flashing cameras and microphones.

I turned off the TV and Ashley just stared at the blank screen, damn she looked like hell.

"Ash I—" she closed her eyes and put her hand out for me to shut up.

"I don't want to talk about" I looked up and spotted Kyla looking at us from the hall way

"What are we going to do if it's true?" Ashley stood up and walked out into the bedroom slamming the door behind her. I sighed and put the remote down before getting up and going after her.

"Damn it Ashley, open the door" I called through the hard wood, pulling on the door knob that refused to turn. The door finally opened and Ashley was sitting on the bed, flicking through multiple channels all of them either plastered with pictures of the Mantolli Twins or the Davies Daughters. "Ashley.."

"I don't want to hear it Spencer. I don't want to talk about it. These are all lies, stupid ignorant moronic lies." She muted the TV and put a pillow over her face. I sighed and sat next to her

"Ash..."

"How could Kendall Mantolli be related to me in any way, shape or form? She's like the hottest celebrity out there. She's rich, famous and powerful and she's only two years older than me! She's built an entire goddamn enterprise in less than three years. And that psycho Zach, he's been on trial for thirteen mass robberies in the past year, I mean massive. Like he robbed a Lexus dealership of all their cars and a bank of almost thirty-MILLION dollars."

"I don't think that's been proven yet" I muttered but she didn't seem to hear me.

"I hate this" she muttered and that's when Davies daughter number two burst in the door, Aiden right behind her followed by Hunter. Ashley looked up, as cenacle as ever "oh hi Kyla the dog and Hunter still following you around?" Aiden seemed taken aback by Ashley's hostility but quickly adjusted. Kyla didn't flinch, immune to Ashley's venom.

"We need to talk about this!" Kyla's voice had that underlying heat that I'd grown to recognize. Things were going to get ugly fast between the Davies.

"About what Kyla? The fact that I really do not want to talk to you?" She snarled and got up, walking towards the door. Aiden caught her arm and pulled her back, which pissed me off. I always got angry when someone touched Ashley in a way she didn't like...unless it was inappropriate then I just wailed on who ever did it no questions asked. "Aiden let go of me" she hissed and Aiden didn't listen. Kyla went in for the kill.

"We need to talk about you and what's going on."

"Aiden let me go!" she pushed against him but he still didn't let go. I saw the look in her eyes, she was freaking out, panicking like a cornered animal. Her eyes unfocused and knew she was reliving the night yet again.

"Not until we talk." He said calmly and I ran and leapt at him. I punched him hard enough to knock him down, I wasn't going to let him hurt her like this. Even if he had no idea he was doing it in the first place.

"She said let go Jockstrap" I snapped. Everyone froze as I glared down at Aiden. It was only for a split second. That's when shit hit the fan. Everyone was screaming, trying and failing to yell over each other until our sentences merged together, creating a really fucked up conversation that made no sense.

"...Ashley..."

"...Would you grow up? you're being such a..."

"...Back off dick wad..."

"...You know what Spencer... "

"...Kyla just shut the..."

"...Jackass! If you ever touch Ashley like that again..."

"I didn't even hurt her! You're being..."

"Quit being a smart ass! I don't make a habit of hitting women...

"...Don't you dare hit him again Spencer..."

"Don't go after him! We're just trying to help!"

"Yeah fantastic way to help, Dennison! What next? Are you going to trap me in the basement of a school again!"

"...You guys are complete morons! Back the hell off and let us..."

"...Help you! Jesus Ashley you're our friend..."

"...Bullshit..."

"Fucking idiots! We don't need your help!" .Ashley broke away from the fight and Kyla went after her yelling at her to stop being so immature. I shoved Aiden back again and advanced after Kyla and I was then tailed by Aiden as soon as I reached the TV room.

"Get the fuck out of my face Kyla!"

"Tell me what the hell is going on with you and maybe I'll consider it!"

"Just shut up and leave me the hell alone!" Ash yelled heading for the stairs the smaller girl on her heels. Aiden grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"Tell us what's wrong! This definitely is not good, look at Ashley! She's self-destructing!" I yanked my arm free and glared up at him

"Mind your own damn business!" I snapped and followed after the screeches and loud crashes, straightening my jacket that Aiden ruffled. Aiden was persistent yelling at me as he followed

"It IS my business!"

"The hell it is!"

"She's like my sister!"

"Fuck off Aiden"

"I'm getting so sick of your attitude too Spencer!" he barked and I turned around on the second floor meeting the jocks glare "Ever since the accident you've turned into a total bitch"

"Oh look Aiden, you're asshole self has made an appearance. You did good for a while, maybe you need to go to therapy." I said and walked towards him "Or if you like I could put a bullet in your chest, let you bleed out until you die, bring you back to life and then you can see just how happy you are when you wake up!" I shoved him again and again until he fell on his ass and then I continued after Kyla and Ashley. Ashley made a break for the door, Kyla still swarming her until I grabbed the younger girls arm and wrenched her away from my girl friend and glared down at her. I stood between her and Ashley, slowly walking her back towards the wall.

"Spencer" Kyla began "We need to talk about what happened while I was gone" her voice was calm and carefully monitored, my temper had been loose since I'd been shot. My grip on my tolerance loose and wavered from time to time. I would never hurt Kyla, I would never lash out at her no matter how hard she pushed me.

"Ashley" I said with a controlled tone "Go out to the car, we'll head over to my place until this whole thing calms down" I heard a moment of hesitation before the door opened and the sound of flashes and what sounded like a chorus of thousands of voices flooded the large house. I looked over my shoulder and a flock of reporters stood there, lights flashing from cameras and reporters shoving microphones in her face. And In an instant she was sucked into the vat of leeches. I rushed over, crossing the dining hall quickly and diving head first into the wriggling crowd of media.

She was surrounded by flashes and cameras, questions being screamed at her. She was crashing and burning. Her facade was failing and she was breaking down. I reached her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close against me like I could shield her. I began moving her towards the doors again when this big burly guy with a camera stood between us and the door. Ugh, I knew him. He was Marco Hicks, the asshole who made tons of cash by sucking every bit of dignity from a human being and selling it to the press. From crotch-shots to cheater scandals, this scum bag did it all.

"Ashley!" the guy called as I tried to get her through the wall of bodies "Why aren't you with your boyfriend in the hospital? Or are you switching from team to team now a days?" I stopped and let Ashley go into Kyla's arms who'd somehow gotten through the mob. They just couldn't get back out. I glared up at the guy

"Back off dipstick" I snarled, squaring up to him. He didn't look the least bit intimidated by me

"Oh hello Ms. Carlin. Are you still following Ashley around like a little lost puppy? I heard she dumped your ass for a big millionaire." I shoved him back at the same moment camera's were pushed in my face. He didn't seem to care "Ashley! What do you think about the rumours of the Mantolli's being related to you?" I shoved him again

"I told you to back off, what goes on in our life is our business!" he just glared down at me and in a very angry yet careful tone he said

"Not unless you're hurting other people...like your brother." I stared at him in shock, we'd been so careful to keep the truth under wraps, and he just blew it all up. In a louder voice he said "And I'm sure you're the reason Ethan Bradshaw's in the hospital! What? You couldn't take that Ashley had chosen a real man over you?" That was it. The final straw. I can only remember small fragments of what happened but on the News I saw myself get very, very still. Every muscle tensed "Aw, did I hurt your feelings? Aw poor little—" and all in one fast second I detonated. I broke out of the frozen state I was in and slugged him across the face hard, causing him to stagger. He shook his head, blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and he swung at me. Not only was Hicks a pain in everyone's ass, he wasn't afraid to hit a girl.

I ducked under his swing and grabbed the camera strap from behind him that hung around his neck and pulled hard, knocking him to the ground. Ashley was completely broken now and had collapsed into Kyla's arms, but everyone was too centered on the fight to notice. It was surprisingly easy to move even with the heels on as I straddled him and whacked him in the face a few times, hard enough to snap his head back against the concrete. I looked over at Ashley for a moment, suddenly realising that I wasn't just in some schoolyard scrap that meant nothing. I was defending the woman I loved. But that moment was just enough time for Hicks to prepare himself for me to look back and WHACK!

The camera connected with my eye and my brain was screaming bloody murder as dots clouded my vision. He stood up, knocking me off of him and to the ground. I could see him lift his foot above my torso but I was stunned and disorientated. It made contact with my ribs and knocked the remaining air from my lungs. Why no one was trying to stop him I have not the slightest idea. But before I could do anything someone I really hadn't expected to see showed up. I mean I REALLY hadn't expected to see him OR his sister.

An arm wrapped around Marco's neck from behind and was torn away from me, where I laid on the walkway. Soft hands touched my shoulders and I blinked a couple times trying to figure out who was doing what. They we're Ashley's hands, the fingers were long and elegant not at slender as Ashley's.

"Are you alright?" a quiet voice asked me and I just nodded, the vision in my left eye still foggy. "Come on let's get you inside." She said and I felt another set of hands, this time stronger and obviously belonged to a guy, grab my other side and both of them pulled me off the ground. The media slowly dissolved and left the Mansion while I hobbled along. Once inside I finally realised who was helping me. I leaned against the wall and let my good eye take in the sight of the Mantolli twins and the Davies Daughters looking at each other. Ashley was freaking out.

"You can't be here" she was panting like she was out of breath "You can't be here right now. I want you out of my house." I looked over at her and walked a little ways towards her, gently holding her face

"Calm down Ashley, it's ok" She was losing it. When Hicks brought up the Ethan incident it was like he drove a car through Ashley's line of defence.

"No it's not Spencer! They can't be here! I can't handle this...It's like he's here again Spencer" she was getting hysterical and Kyla was fluttering around, unsure of what she should do with herself.

"We would just like to talk" Kendall said, looking around me to her possible relative.

"I don't want to talk" Ashley hissed "He won't leave me alone Spencer! He'll find me and when he does—oh my god" she keeled over, catching herself as her knees buckled.

"Ashley!" I cried not sure where to touch, she was in pain and I didn't want to make her hurt even more. She used one hand to support herself against the wall and the other wrapped around her stomach.

"Oh my god" she whimpered, knees giving out under her.

"Someone call my mother!" I yelled and Kyla took off through the house to grab a phone and bring it to me. I wrapped an arm around her and lowered her to the floor gently. Zach and Kendall snapped into motion, the very muscular man kneeling in front of Ashley and sliding his hands under her to carry her bridal style. Ashley was curled up in pain against him as he walked quickly to the living room. Kyla threw me the phone from across the room and I quickly dialled the numbers. I needed my mom to help me, I had no clue what to do.

"The Carlin residence Paula speaking"

"Mom! Mom I need your help"

"Spencer? Spence what's wrong?"

"I don't know! Ashley's hurting really bad.." Ashley screamed in agony, a sound that made everyone, even the Mantolli Mobsters, wince "god mom I think it's the baby"

**Oooooooo another cliff-hanger. Well doesn't that just suck?**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**Ashley is forced to relive the night she wants to forget. When Christine comes back to the Mantollis in her home, she too is forced into her own nightmare. Spencer receives a letter from Alexander Bradshaw, how much does Ethan's father know? What does he want for the youngest Carlin? Why does he want to see her?**


	16. Aliens, Mobsters and Demon Women

**Ok hey guys! **

**Sorry, The chapters are coming slower and slower. I'm on vacation where there's no internet except for in this library where I am currently sitting. I won't be able to update for about another week or two so I hope you don't hate me...because that'd make me sad. **

**Chapter 16**

_**Spencer**_

Kendall and Zach stood on the far end of the room against the wall while I made Kyla and Aiden stand out in the other room. We were in the study of the huge mansion, Ashley curled up on the couch with an old blanket draped over her.

"Spencer I need you to get Ashley to lay down" My mother said through the phone, I could hear the roaring of the wind and knew she was leaving the house as we spoke.

"She is, she is" I said and looked at Ashley from behind the couch where I stood, watching over her

"Is there any bleeding?" Mom asked and I could hear the car door shut on her end.

"hang on" now I was nervous. As I set down the phone I could feel my heart slamming in my chest. If there was blood it meant Ashley was miscarrying. And if she was losing the baby...I don't know what I'd do. Probably lose what sanity I had left. I walked around to the front of the couch and kneeled down beside Ashley who was pretty much in the fetal position. She'd spent a long time grunting and crying out in pain which worried everyone so much it was almost sad.

God, the scene that Aiden threw was horrible. It kept flashing through my mind.

_Aiden and Kyla were following us into the study, but I'd be damned if I let them put even more stress on Ashley especially now. I put one hand on Aiden's chest and pushed him back gently, Jockstrap was one of my least favourite people at this moment in time and we weren't exactly on friendly terms since oh about ten minutes ago when I punched him. _

"_You're not going to step a foot in this door or I will deck you yet again." He simply pushed past me with one hand_

"_Dream on Spen—" Zach grabbed his still extended arm and twisted it behind his back, ducking Aiden's wild swing with his free hand and head butted the athlete before pushing him against the wall. "OW! Let me go!"_

"_Dream on" the mobster hissed in his ear before letting him go and balling his fists at Aiden, wagging his fingers in a "Bring it on" kind of way. Too bad the only way Aiden knew how to fight was "Stupid-testosterone-filled-boy-Style" AKA throwing his fists around and hoping on hand made contact. But Zachary Mantolli was a Mobster who could bring a knife to a gun fight and win. Aiden swung and Zach grabbed his forearm, using his body to flip him over. When Aiden managed to grab Zach's shirt and pull his hand back to hit him Ashley cried out in pain again, Kendall and I both hovered over Ashley and my knees buckled when she coiled her body up. Kendall smoothed her hand over Ashley's forehead while murmuring small words of comfort to her. _

_Zach took Aiden's loss of concentration and threw him out the door, shutting it and locking it behind him. _

I shook my head and gently lifted the blanket enough to expose her waist. I couldn't help the small sigh of relief

"No blood Mom" I said after picking the phone back up.

"good, good just keep her calm. Do anything you can to ensure she relaxes. I'll be there in a few minutes" I hung up and lifted Ashley's head to rest it in my lap, stroking her hair soothingly. I looked over at the Mantollis from across the room, they were even more beautiful in person than on TV.

Kendall was tall, roughly five-nine, slender, elegant and always held her head high; like she had nothing to be ashamed of. Zach was about six-four, broad shoulders, chiselled jaw and much like his sister his head was high. They talked softly in the corner of the room, occasionally glancing in our direction. Ashley looked at them and croaked out

"Why are you here?" they both looked over at us. Kendall looked back at her brother before walking over to the loveseat across from us and sitting down.

"Well," she began, her voice was soft and kind. Comforting almost. "We know what the media must have already launched. The rumour about us"

"Is that all it is? Rumours?" Ashley asked and I pushed the hair stuck to her face with sweat away.

"Ashley this really isn't the best time to be talking about this..." I whispered and she just grunted, this time not with pain but acknowledgement though she obviously had no intention to do what I asked. Kendall looked down at her hands for a moment, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles on the pants of her pantsuit.

"Well, Ashley...you see—" the door whipped open and there stood the demon woman. No not my mother, Ashley's Mother. She looked at Kendall who stared back before standing up and slowly walking over. "Hello, Christine" she said, her voice held all the respect in the world, and maybe just a small ounce of resentment and shame. Christine was just a twisted, tangled ball of hatred as she pulled her perfectly manicured hand back and ripped it across Kendall's face. The beautiful woman's head snapped like a whip to the side and a red hand print was forming on her flawless skin. She straightened herself out a little bit but didn't look back at the woman, instead directing her gaze at the wall for a few moments.

Ashley and I were dumbstruck. We stared blankly at both of them like deer in the headlights. What the hell?

"What do you think you're doing here?" Christine demanded, her voice simply dripping with venom; poisonous enough that it stung me, and I wasn't even in her line of fire. Kendall rolled her head back in her direction, her compassionate green eyes had turned to stone and her jaw was set. Kendall Mantolli was a very scary individual.

"We came to see Ashley and Kyla." Zach answered for his sister but stayed where he was, it was obvious that he was the Destinies Child to Kendall's Beyonce; just the back up.

"Good, you've seen them. Now leave before I call security" Christine snapped and Kendall opened her mouth this time.

"Don't you have some multi-bajillionare somewhere you could be screwing?" her voice was like razor blades. Scratch that, frozen razor blades that also burned after they cut you. She was as bad as Christine, times a million and two.

"You will not speak like that to me under my own roof!" Wow this was getting ugly fast. And with impeccable timing, my own mother showed up! This was great, a royal bitch bath after I have the scare of my life. But that wasn't my mother standing there in those scrubs and holding the medical bag. Oh no, that was an alien imposter posing as my mother so it could eat our brains. Not that I'd hold a grudge, we've blown them up in every movie ever made. Makes sense they'd want revenge.

"Excuse me!" Alien-Woman intervened the fight "Would you two take it out side?" wow, it even had the pissed-off-mother voice down.

"And who the hell are you?" the blonde looked at Christine like she was stupid; not noticing the scrubs and the medical bag.

"I'm the Easter Bunny and I can't hide the eggs while you're in the room. So would you please help me out and LEAVE?" If I wasn't worried for Ashley I would have laughed. Hell, I would have peed my pants laughing. It was just far too bizarre. But I was too afraid for Ashley right at that moment. Christine was still for a moment, turned her gaze to Kendall before turning around and leaving, the Mantolli's at her heels. My mom shut the door behind them and spun the small deadbolt. Ashley went nuts.

She backed up against me, her breath coming in desperate pants.

"Mom, open the door" She looked at me for a moment then to Ashley, realizing what was going on.

"ok, ok look the door's open" she said stepping back and unlocked the hard mahogany barrier. Ashley relaxed and that's when I saw the "We need to talk" look go across my mom's face. She kneeled in front of the girl, slipping the stethoscope under her shirt and pressing it to her skin and making her jump from the cold metal thing.

After a few moments of probing Mother-Dear placed the stethoscope over her neck and actually had a look of compassion on her usually angry features.

"Well, Ashley, I'd say that the pain was caused by overwhelming nervous stress, and by lack of food." Ashley didn't meet her or my eyes. "Did something happen? Anything to cause more unneeded stress?" She looked at me and I just looked down at Ashley. My mother turned to me and said in a very soft, very kind voice

"Spencer would you go make something for Ashley to eat please?" Translated pretty much meant screw off. I nodded and kissed the top of her head before standing up and exiting to the sound of Kendall and Christine having a screaming match.

"I want you out of my HOUSE!" The demon woman shrieked at the younger girl. Kyla and Aiden were huddled in the corner with the look that you get when your parents fight on their faces.

"Ashley disserves to know she has a brother. A sister!" Kendall argued "You should want that for your daughter!" She paused, collecting herself "Christine, I can't help what Jason Davies did to you, but—"

"You little bi—"

"SHUT UP!" I yelled and they all looked at me, Kyla and Aiden looked like they were about to worship me, Christine looked like she'd be more than happy to Spartan kick me off a bridge and Kendall...was impossible to read. "Jesus Christ! Might wanna fight a little louder, I don't think the people in Australia heard you properly." I said rubbing my ears.

I walked past them and into the kitchen looking for something to make Ashley. I didn't hear much of anything as I assembled a sandwich and when I walked back out Christine was gone and Kendall seemed to be waiting for me. She stood up and closed the distance

"She's pregnant isn't she?"

"Who?"

"Ashley" I didn't answer I just looked back to the half opened door. Ashley was crying as she spoke with my mother and when she finish, Paula wrapped her arms around the tired, hurt girl.

"Tell me his name" Kendall demanded and I looked at her

"I'm sorry?"

"The guy who did this to her"

"Why?"

"Because when I find him, he'll wish he was dead." She had a fire in her eyes, the look of someone who wasn't afraid to do what had to be done. Someone who wasn't afraid to take a life. She had the same look I did when I saw myself in the mirror.

And that scared me shitless.

**No sneak peeks this time, I haven't the slightest idea what's going to happen either. (I've got writers block...GASP!)**


	17. Descend into Darkness pt 1

**Uh, Hey guys!**

**So…I'm real, real sorry about being away for so damn long; My computer broke down for like a couple months before I got this new on which I am currently typing on and then I got hooked on Xena: Warrior Princess (What? I'm a 15 year old who found out about the most kick ass TV show ever and then dedicated a month or two of my life to watching every single episode of the six seasons seeing as it was aired between the years of 1995-2001 between which I was born, watching Dragon Tails and spelling my name incorrectly) I joined Rep. Softball, then there was school and English class which robbed me of my urge to write via the multiple create writing assignments which I was really dedicate to and turned my descriptive paragraph into a full blown short story…but when I was with them, I was always thinking of you. And so, to make this chapter really amazing and satisfying for all of you people who would really like to beat me up, I understand, I want to beat the tar out of me too. Without further rambling…**

**Chapter 17**

_**Ashley**_

Spencer and I were in the car. She was driving me to her mother's doctors office to get an exam. Which I thought was totally unnecessary. Unconsciously I placed one hand over my baby bump, we were fine. The both of us.

"So, what's this letter you got from Bradshaw?" I asked her, taking the piece of paper with elegant script and skimming it.

She shrugged. "I don't know really. He just says he wants to meet with me." I could tell she was holding something back, but her eyes were hidden behind her damn aviators. I didn't understand why she'd want to go anyway. Mind you Spencer had been acting really weird all week; from talking with Kendall and Zach when she thought I was resting to talking with her "contacts" on her cell late at night. I opened the glove compartment of the car to place the letter somewhere safe when I saw it. My heart practically stopped. Reaching in slowly, I grabbed the cold, metal object. I glanced at Spencer who wasn't paying really any attention to me at all and back to the thing in my hands. As soon as I found my voice, as asked

"Spencer, why do you have a gun?" Her muscles tensed and her body became ridged. She didn't answer me for a long time before she fidgeted uncomfortably. "Spencer. Why. Do. You. Have. A. Gun?" I asked my question again, slowly and deliberately.

"It's nothing Ash." She muttered "I have it legally so there's no reason to freak out." I gaped at her.

"No reason to freak out! Are you shitting me?"She pulled over to the side of the road and parked. "You've got a gun Spencer! A GUN!"

"Ashley, Ashley!" she said, grabbed my face between her hands "Calm down alright?" she gently placed one hand over my stomach before taking the weapon in her hands and placing it under her seat. We sat in silence for a few moments, my fingers gently trailing over my belly.

"Does this have anything to do with what happened between you and Ethan last week—"

"No, no." she said, staring straight ahead.

"_Spencer!" Kyla calls from the front room. At this time, Kyla and Aiden are sworn enemies of Spencer and I. So Kyla talking to us meant something serious was going down. Kendall and Spencer quickly walk towards the window and Spencer instantly tenses and shoved away from the pane of glass before storming towards the stairs. _

"_Spencer!" Kendall calls after her "Where are you going?" Spencer doesn't answer and instead picks up her pace. Zach and Kendall fly after her like hunting dogs and I push myself up off the couched, which is getting surprisingly more difficult everyday, where I had been resting and go to the window beside Kyla. There, sitting across the street, leaning against his over priced car, was Ethan. My heart just about stops and I sank to my knees and lean against the wall, under the window. _

"_Hello Spencer, how's Ashl-" his voice rang out but was cut off by a hard thud and Spencer screaming profanities. Curiosity over powers my fear and I have to look. Zach had Spencer around the waist, pulling her off of him as she struggles to get free._

"_You son of a BITCH!" she shrieks and wrenches free of Zach's grip, giving Ethan a sharp knee to his crotch, forcing him down on the ground. "Don't you EVER say her name again!" Kendall places a gentle but firm hand on Spencer's shoulder and my rage engulfed girlfriend steps back, but not before kicking his crotch again. _

"_Ethan Bradshaw, long time no see." Kendall coos as he picks himself up off the ground. _

"_Ah, Kendall Mantolli, always a pleasure." He says genuinely, Kendall crossed her arms over her chest. God that woman scares me._

"_Tell me Ethan, were you the one that raped Ashley" She says rather bluntly. He tenses _

"_How do you know that?" she just smiles and extends her hand towards him in a handshake, he warily takes it, _

"_The only thing you need to know," she says and twisted his wrist so "You slimy fuck," in a happy tone "I would really like to kill you. And, maybe if I was the old Kendall, I would. But seeing as I'm trying to change things I'll let you off easy. If you ever EVEN think about my sister again" Ethan whimpers like a puppy. "I will gouge your eyes from their sockets with the biggest smile on my face." He looks up at her, shocked and…afraid? "Now, I suggest you get in your car, drive away and never come back or I'll have the entire Mantolli family hunting you like a dog, alright?" he nodded and she released him. "Really hope to see you soon Ethan. Have a great day" she walks towards the house but puts one hand on her brother's shoulder, whispers something to him and grabs Spencer's arm, walking at a brisker pace towards the house._

"Promise me you won't use it Spencer" She looked back at me "Promise me you won't do anything to get you taken away from me" she smiled and reached out, brushing my cheek with the back of her hand. I grasped it and held it against my heart.

"I won't" she whispered

"Promise?"

"Promise"

_**Spencer**_

I dropped Ashley off at the clinic and was now speeding off towards the address imprinted on the top of the letter head. I had a few choice words for the father of the man who raped my girlfriend. I was going to tear him a new one. Reaching under my seat at a red light I gently touched the butt of the revolver and was instantly plagued by visions of my last encounter with Glen. The gun he gave to me, the weight of the cold metal in my hand, the trigger being pulled under my finger and his, the bullet tearing through me and the warm gush of my life pouring from the hole in my chest. I jerked my hand away from it, and floored it as the light turned green. I had to deal with this son of a bitch. Even if it meant breaking my promise to Ashley and myself. Not doing anything to get myself taken away from her and never to kill again.

My phone rang and I answered it instantly, without thinking.

"Spencer,"

"Spencer what the hell do you think you're doing!" Kendall snarled though the phone "I told you specifically not to go to Bradshaw's without Zach or me."

"I can handle this on my own." I growled, gunning it down the empty road towards the giant mansion at the top of the hill. "Ethan is my problem."

"And what you're thinking about doing is not the solution." I didn't answer "I know how you feel right now Spencer."

"How could you possibly know how I feel? The son of a bitch raped my girlfriend! He hit her and beat her until she was half dead! What makes you think you have the slightest clue about how I feel!"

"If you don't kill him you'll find out. I promise." I hung up the phone and angrily tossed it on the backseat. I drove up to the huge rot iron gate and was instantly greeted by

"Ms. Carlin, We've been expecting you" and the gates opened. I didn't hesitate to speed up the long drive before parking directly in front of the house. I grabbed the gun from under my seat and tucked it into the back of my jeans before heading inside. If I so much as saw him, that goddamn slime ball, he would die. I kicked open the front doors and was ushered to the giant deep red doors which were opened for me and found the old man sitting behind a huge desk filling out paper work. He had dark brown eyes and was completely bald. He was in good shape for a sixty year old, well muscled and tall.

"Hello Ms. Carlin" He said sitting back, his eyes staring straight into mine. "Please, sit" I literally snarled as one of his butlers attempted to take my jacket.

"I don't know what you want from me, but if it has anything to do with Ashley—" he held up his hand.

"That's not what I want to talk about. I've heard some disturbing news about what my son has done to Ms. Davies. And, I want to make a deal"

"What? If Ashley and I keep our mouth shut about what your dirt-bag son did you'll give us a wad of cash and send us on our marry way?"

He smiled "You've got fire in your soul Ms. Carlin." Approval practically dripped from his voice which really irritated me. "No, I want the child to be the sole heir to My financial empire." I was dumb struck. What the f—

"You want Ashley's child to be your heir? What's the catch?" I asked and he shook his head with a bemused smile on his face

"No catch. My son has been a…disappointment to me. And so, I hope with the right guidance, the child—my grandchild—will be a decent person, someone who can do good in this world." He spun around the paper, a contract, he'd already signed. I read it over. It simply stated that all of the businesses and money written under the Bradshaw name would belong to Ashley's unborn child and that it would be in my control until the child's twenty-first birthday. He held out a pen to me, I took it. It felt heavy in my hand as I pressed the tip to the paper and hesitantly scribbled my name before dropping it like it burnt me. He picked it up and tucked it into the pocket of his suit jacket. "Thank you very much Ms. Carlin, you've done me a great honor." He held his hand out towards me and rose to his feet in a polite, formal farewell. I glared at his hand like I could set it on fire with my eyes and took a step back.

"If you or your son do anything to risk or hurt my family's wellbeing...you will regret it." I growled and turned on my heel, walking past the butlers and the door men and climbing back into my car and gunning it down the street and screeching to a halt when I nearly collided with Kendall, who had parked her Porsche so it blocked the road. She stood in front of it, showing no fear as my car spun out of control, coming to a stop a foot from her. She whistled

"That was a close one." She said flatly, completely calm as I wrenched the door open and slammed it, storming towards her.

"What the FUCK is your problem!" I snarled and she just kept composure. I looked around, Zach wasn't here. I had never seen Kendall without her brother, never seen her with the cold, angry glint in her eyes.

"I asked you not to see Bradshaw without Zach or myself with you." Her voice alone demanded obedience. The vibe her body gave off was one of control.

"I can handle myself!" I snapped and she grabbed my arm in her elegant fingers who's strength surprised me.

"Sit your ass down and listen to me!" she growled, her emotions just barely in her control. She pushed me back onto the hood of my car. "You have no idea what a slippery slope you're on Carlin" She snapped

"Enlighten me oh wise Kendall"

"Shut your smart ass mouth before I do it for you." Her hands clenched and relaxed by her side "A long time ago, I was exactly like you. I was angry, I was hurting and I wanted everyone else to hurt too. I didn't care who I didn't care why. If I had just the slightest excuse to do it I would. I've killed so many for reasons even I don't understand." I just blinked at her…I felt like I was three again. "I know the path you're on Spencer. I know where it leads and I promise you, it's nowhere good."

"If you're done lecturing me, Obi wan Kenobi, I have to pick Ashley up." I said and turned from her. She grabbed the back of my neck and my legs gave out from the pain induced from the fresh tattoo on the back of my neck, the Mantolli family crest; a wolf silhouette inside a shield.

"You're part of the pack now Carlin. You follow my rules from now on. You don't go anywhere I tell you not to. Understand?" I understood the rules of the Mantolli Mob. There were Alphas and Omegas, I qualified as a pup and Kendall was the Alpha Female.

"Yes" I whimpered like a wounded dog. She released me and walked back to her car, got in, and sped off down the road. Picking myself off the ground I walked back to my own vehicles and got in. I had gotten fantastic at lying. So great that at one time it may have scared me. I pulled the revolver out of the back of my pants and placed it back under my seat. Kendall said she knew how I felt but she didn't have a clue. She couldn't understand all the anger and pain I had aching in my bones, the revenge I wanted so bad it nearly made me hunt Ethan down right now. I could do it too. Already I could visualize everything that I would do, different scenarios in which I could encounter. I felt the thrill of the hunt pulsing through my veins just thinking about it.

I couldn't understand what was happening to me, I wanted to feel Ethan's life in my hands. And I wanted to crush it into dust. To rip it apart with my bare hands. And I knew exactly how to do it. I picked up my phone and dialed the number I had wanted to for so long. It rang a few times

"Hello?" A tired, heavily accented voice answered. I smirked.

"hello Tony," I looked around as I pulled up in front of the clinic where Ashley was waiting by the front doors. She smiled and waved at me, her beautiful peach sundress billowing as she walked towards me "I need some help."

**TA DA! Yes, I'm taking this story for a dark ride, only because I really really REALLY wanna write something dark and suspenseful.**

**The next update is a fast forward a couple months, just so I can get it out of the way. This is only part one people! Don't get your panties in a twist!**

**Also, I feel so stupid for doing this but here it goes, I'd like to thank my fans, if I can be so bold as to call you that, who've put up with my craziness and random breaks for months at a time and have favourited either myself or my stories. Also to my invisible army out there, yes my Fanfiction Ninjas, I love you guys too. The positive feedback I've gotten from you guys has been amazing and I can't thank you guys enough for putting up with my inaccurate teasers. I'm getting better at it and you all know it!**

**But just thanks in all. Ok enough of the emotional crap.**

**NEXT TIME ON "LIFE AFTER DEATH":**

**Almost nine months in and Ashley's baby is only mere weeks from arriving, but what happens when a quiet trip up country to the Carlin Cabin turns into a nightmare for the young couple? Sure they can board the windows and doors, but what can they do about the trouble inside the small house?**


	18. ADHD

**Well…this is awkward. I know all I ever do now is make excuses but here we go again. So, First off I learned about the whole Buffy the Vampire Slayer thing with Tara and Willow and Dark Willow and that got my hormonal teenage brain all excited (which has been known to happen frequently for many things) and then really mad when Tara died (but REALLY happy when Willow killed Warren…I just spoiled it for everyone who hasn't seen it yet…oops.) then I started writing a story for Willow and Tara, then I got all brooding and dark so I kept writing my other story for this section, so now I've got about eight different fictions in which people are all like "GIMME MORE! RAWR!" And now I've started writing a book, like an ACTUAL book which I want to get published and I got all hyped up about it and I've been spending every lunch in the Library of my high school writing and doing my homework so I can write more when I get home and researching the topic of my book like the good little nerd I am. So now that I'm addicted, I've realized that I've been neglecting you guys (or girls…or people…or monsters…poodles-you never know…I don't hate or discriminate) and so I'm going to start taking turns for all my stories. Because sharing is caring. And don't blame me for my unpredictable absences…blame my hormones and scattered thoughts. They're the ones screwing with my emotions! **

**Anyway, I'll have to put off "Decend into Darkness pt. 2" because I've decided to make this a three to four part episode (yes, I'm going to start calling them episodes) because I don't want to rush it. This is when the shit hits the fan people.**

**P.S. I don't know about you guys, but I missed Carmen.**

**P.S.S. Dear Cassicio, see the NEXT TIME at the bottom of the page? Yeah, I did that just for you =)**

**P.S.S.S. How are you guys? Good? I hope so.**

**Any way I'm rambling. So, assuming you guys haven't already lit your torches and sharpened your pitchforks (you know who you are), I now present you with…**

**Chapter 18**

_**Spencer**_

"I don't see why we have to bring her" Ashley muttered under her breath to me as I loaded the last of the bags into the back of Zach truck. Ashley, Kendall, Carmen and I were all going up to my cabin for a week to get away from everything. Ashley wanted me to 'bond' better with Kendall, and my argument was that I wanted Ashley to bond with Carmen. So, after a few yelling fights and nearly three days of debating, Ashley agreed. Zach would lend us his truck and my she-devil of a best friend, my very pregnant girlfriend, her mobster half sister and I would spend a week inside a tiny Cabin. Oh goody. This would really, really, really not go great.

"It'll be fine" I promise her, kissing her on the cheek gently as Kendall gathered a few things she would need.

"She's late"

"She'll be here"

"I thought you wanted to leave early"

"I do"

"It's nearly four in the morning."

"yup"

"We'll get there around ten then?"

"If traffics bad."

"six hour drive."

"uh-huh"

"This is going to blow"

"you're the one who wanted to bring your half sister"

"You're the one who wouldn't go without Carmen"

"yeah, right. Like I'd want to be alone with you and your mobster sister?" She slapped my arm and I jumped. "Ow! Hey!"

"Now now children" the car door of a beat down pick-up caught our attention. "Don't make me pull this metaphorical car over." Carmen lugged one big duffel bag to where we stood.

"Carm" I grinned and wrapped my arms around my best friend as she dropped the bag.

"Hey Spence, long time no see." She said, patting me on the shoulder before pulling out of the embrace. She looked at Ashley and they both glared at each other like wolves right before a fight. If looks could kill there'd be yellow tape and police everywhere. "Davies." Carmen said curtly. Ashley stayed silent. I'd asked her to play nice. Looks like she was making good on her promise. Carmen glanced down at her stomach then to her face and back to me and simply said "Lesbian lizard" before throwing me the duffle bag and walking back towards her car.

"I hate you" Ashley muttered under her breath and I grinned, pulled her towards me by her hips

"Is that 'hate' spelt L-O-V-E?" She smirked and rested her hands on my forearms and her forehead against my mine.

"Maybe…" she kissed my lips gently.

"Whoa there chicas, let's keep it G rate alright?" Carmen said, coming back with her beat up baseball hat on backwards and her leather jacket slung over her arm. "I don't wanna have to write you up for a PDA but…" Ashley shot Carmen a dirty look and I groaned internally.

"Maybe you should get a girlfriend Carmen." Ashley hissed and Carmen, being Carm, rolled with it. She sighed dramatically and laid the back of her hand against her forehead.

"Alas, if only one could see my true beauty" she twirled onto the front lawn of the mansion "If only she could whisk me away from the tragedy of life" she began moving in long gestures, beginning some strange, demented form of interpretive dance. She tip toed her way across the lawn in a fashion I'm sure she believed was ballet. "But my heart belongs to she who is above all else. To the woman who was voted one of the top ten hottest women in the world three consecutive times none other than—"

"Ashley" Kendall said, stepping out of the large wooden doors that were the entrance to the Davies mansion. Kendall was looking…well Kendall. She wore impossibly high heeled boots, black tights, a long black shirt with a belt around her waist that accented her perfect hour glass figure. "did you take Kyla's sweater?" Carmen froze with a look of pure shock on her face. Seeing as she couldn't very well see the fashion designer with her back towards the mansion, I had to assume that the mere sound of her voice shocked my friend into the unusual state of muteness. Ashley looked past Carmen with a questioning look on her face

"Why would I have Kyla's sweater?" Kendall sighed remorsefully as she neared us.

"Because the small one thinks either you or I took it. Why she thinks I would want her sweater I haven't the slightest idea." That was a valid point. Kendall had warehouses upon warehouses of clothes that hadn't even been made available to most of the world yet. Carmen closed her eyes and uttered what had to be words of prayer before turning around and squeaking once like a school girl. Kendall stopped abruptly in front of Carmen, a look of surprise on the much taller woman's features. With the heels on, and Carmen's very short stature, Kendall had to have been at least a foot and a half taller than my strange little buddy. Carmen stared in awe at the goddess-like woman for a few seconds; her head craned up and mouth gaping. "Uh…hello."

"Kendall this is Carmen, my best friend. Carmen this is Kendall Mantolli, Ashley's half sister." I said with a slight snicker as the black haired girl extended her hand towards the very elegant Kendall. Kendall took it warily

"It's nice to meet you"

"Whooo." Carmen said with all the wit in her tiny brain. The taller woman let go of Carmen's hand and walked round her to Ashley

"Do you have any clue where Tiny-Tot's sweater is could you please find it for her?"

"Tiny-Tot?" Kyla nearly screamed from the front steps of the house. Aw crap. Carmen didn't snap out of her dreamy state of mind until she heard the smallest of the Davies daughters storming down the path. Then she and I ran inside the truck and locked the doors behind us. Kyla proceeded to have a temper tantrum that was just barely muffled by the car doors and windows. Her hands whipped about in frantic arm gestures as she yelled like a kid at Kendall. I was just glad I wasn't out there with them.

"I think we'll be safe if—OW!" I yelled as Carmen slapped my arm. "What the hell was that about?"

"I can't BELIEVE you knew Kendall Mantolli and didn't think about telling your dearest friend who has the most gargantuan crush on her that your lesbian lizard girlfriend was the sister—"

"Half sister"

"WHATEVER! That she was even remotely related to the most gorgeous woman to walk the face of the earth!"

"I thought I was the most gorgeous woman on the face of the earth."

"You are Spencer…but this woman could step on you, say 'ew I stepped in it!' and wipe you off on the grass of life."

"Oh gee, thanks buddy. You're a swell pal."

"don't get your panties in a twist, you'll always be the same 'I got body slammed by a cow' Spencer I know and love."

"Yeah, cause that makes me feel SOOOOO much better."

"I knew it would." She patted my arm and I flicked her.

There really wasn't a very good seating arrangement in the truck to begin the 'bonding' process. I was driving, which was a given seeing as I was the only who knew how to get to my cabin, and Carmen was in the backseat which totally sucked because Carmen refused to take shotgun and I couldn't trust leaving Ashley and her together without a serious catfight and I couldn't put Kendall back there with her because Zach would kill me if there were drool stains left on the leather and I kind of liked having my creepy best friend alive. But in the end Ashley had to go in the back. Blood would probably come out of the leather better than drool anyway. Or at least it wouldn't show up quiet as much.

**Hours on Road: 1**

"Hey Kendall?"

"Yes, Carmen." She said with exasperation dripping from her voice. Carmen had asked what seemed like half a million questions in the first hour we'd been on the road.

"If you're the half sister of lesbian-lizard Ashley over here then what are you to Ashley's half-sister Kyla?" Kendall sighed

"Seeing as we have the same mother, and Kyla has the same father as Ashley I would be Kyla's cousin by marriage." She answered, staring out the passenger side window.

"What the hell is a lesbian lizard anyway?" Ashley demanded, her face twisted into a look of pure agitation. Carmen rolled her eyes

"Please Davies, we're trying to have a conversation here"

"Carmen be nice" I scolded

"HA! A conversation? You've just being asking random, disjointed questions for the past hour." Crap.

"Would you shut up?" Carmen snapped.

"Just tell me what a Lesbian lizard is!"

"FINE!"

"No! Not FINE!" Kendall snapped "I really don't need to relive that greasy burger I ate at that god-forsaken restaurant and if you explain what a 'lesbian lizard' is that just might happen!"

"It's a beautiful thing though…"

"I don't doubt that, I just really don't need to hear about the mating ritual of a reptile while I've got a stomach full of crap"

"Ew…"

**Hours on Road: 3**

"THIS IS TAKING FOREVER!" Carmen screamed out the window, jolting Ashley and Kendall awake. "SPENCER! HOW MUCH LONGER!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" Ashley yelled at her. We were stuck in traffic about three hours into the drive. I kind of forgot that Carmen doesn't do so well trapped in a small area for a long time. Stupid ADHD. That's attention daffiest hyperactive disorder for those of you rushing over to google to look it up.

"WHAT?" Carmen yelled and I sighed as she unbuckled and hauled herself half way out the window so she was sitting on the door. "HEY! MR. TRUCK-DRIVER-GUY!" she howled at the semi truck next to us. He looked over at her "HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD?" and instead of the driver answering, Kendall did.

"Carmen, if you don't get your ass inside this truck you'll find out how many times a person bounces after being shoved out a window." Carmen sat down obediently. A sudden puzzled expression crossed her face.

"Hey…what's a 'woodchuck' anyway?"

**Hours on Road: 4**

"Spencer, can I switch spaces with Kendall?" Ashley asked innocently and Carmen looked like she agreed entirely with that question.

"Can she switch with Kendall?"

"No" Kendall said, "No way in hell am I going back there."

"It's not fair! She's pregnant!"

"Yeah! I'm pregnant!"

"And hormonal"

"I AM NOT HORMONAL!"

**Hours on Road: 4.5**

"STOP TOUCHING ME!"

"Carmen, stop poking Ashley"

"I'm not! See, my finger is a good inch from her face." A loud slap came from the back of the car "OW! HEY!"

God kill me now.

**NEXT TIME ON LAD:**

**Oh shit.**


	19. Summer Storm

**Ok, good news and, well, really bad news. Which would you like first? Oh, the good news? Ok. **

**I'm going to start writing another fanfiction for this section! Yay! It won't be as awesome as this story but I think it'll be great. I also figured out how this story will end which took me forever and a day to do. But now, I've figured out the best way to do it.**

**Bad news...ugh, I feel so bad. Alright, due to some foolish, foolish accidental idiotic plot planning on my part...this story will be ending a whole hell of a lot faster than I'd anticipated. But oddly, it should work out perfectly. And when I say "a whole hell of a lot faster" I mean...maybe two or three chapters left until this entire series, yes the entire TSH series, is coming to a complete close. I know how to end it and you'll all hate me, not just for ending the series, but for what I do at the very end. I think I'm the first one to ever end it this way (mind you, I think I'm the first one to write a soap opera instead of a story). So, commence with the sharpening of pitch forks and lighting of torches. You'll all get what you want and, in a way, what you won't want.**

**Chapter 19**

_**Ashley**_

I felt her warm lips press to my forehead, waking me slightly from my light sleep. I mumbled words I didn't even understand and wiggled closer to her. "Hey baby, sorry I woke you" she said in a voice barely above a breath. I opened my eyes groggily and was met by the beautiful blues I loved so much. Her fingers gently ran along my hairline, having already propped herself up on one elbow.

"What time is it?" I grumbled, rubbing my eyes in the darkness of the bottom bunk in one of the small bedrooms. I was, however, careful not to bump her hand or interrupt the steady movement of her caress on my face. It was a soothing relief from the constant worry about the baby to have Spencer with me like this.

"Almost two in the morning." She told me, her fingers gently trailing over my cheek. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" I smiled slightly at her, only able to see her features faintly in the shadows.

"You're more beautiful" she leaned down and kissed my lips slightly, her hand moving to rest on my belly. "Why are you up so early?" I grumbled, still half asleep. "After that late night of driving with that creature you call a best friend, I thought you'd be the one to crash before I did" she chuckled slightly, her fingertips tracing intricate patterns on my bulging belly.

"Ah, but you're forgetting I'm not the one sleeping for two." I rolled my eyes.

"You're hilarious."

"I thought it was cute."

"You would." she stuck her tongue out at me and I mimicked her motion but couldn't keep the goofy grin off my face. "Have you thought of any names?" I asked her, glancing at what looked like a basketball under my summer dress I'd crashed in. I looked back to her and saw the familiar thoughtful, yet mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Well, if it's a girl, Xena, Gabrielle, Buffy, Willow, Tara, Dawn—" I slapped a hand over her mouth.

"No, we're not giving her a name from one of your TV shows, Spencer. EXPECIALLY not the lesbian witches."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Spencer, I'm a highly pregnant woman who's so loaded up with hormones I could beat you to a pulp in seconds without thinking about it and then go eat a box of chocolates." She laughed again before kissing my forehead and lying down next to me. A sudden, though expected wave of exhaustion swept over me and I let my eyelids drop closed, preparing to fall asleep again. I turned my face towards her, nuzzling my nose into her cheek and inhaling her sweet, yet woodsy scent. She snuck her arm under me and around my shoulders, her fingers carefully pulling through my hair and breath caressing my cheek. I lazily draped my own arm across her.

"Hey, Ash?" she whispered gently, playing with my fingers as she held me; it was the first time in a long time she had done that. She was normal scared she'd hurt me or the baby, too busy to sleep or would crash out on the couch if she came home really late from wherever she'd been. But tonight, tonight was perfect. We weren't a pregnant rape victim and a murderer. We weren't Ashley Davies, Rock Princess and Spencer Carlin, Ex-Catholic Nut. We were just Ashley and Spencer, two people who'd been apart emotionally for far too long.

"mmm?"

"If you could pick anything in the world for the baby to be when he-slash-she grows up...what would it be?" Without hesitation I snuggled closer to her and, just before falling asleep, breathed

"Happy"

"No way! That episode sucks!" Carmen and Spencer were sitting on the floor of the cabin in the middle of a day where it was too hot to sit in the shade and not almost pass out. Kendall was in the back reading a book and I got stuck sitting out here with the dweebs (even if one of the dweebs was incredibly amazing in my eyes).

"Take that back!" Spencer demanded "You're seriously dissing 'Forget Me Not'! That episode was epic!"

"Ugh, the entire thing was Gabrielle whining and crying about 'oh I killed my daughter, I can't live with this pain wah wah wah all the way home' oh please."

"She kicked Ares' ass."

"That wasn't Ares and you know it! It was a figment of her imagination!"

"It was her guilt, but still."

"Would you guys just pick something already?" I growled and Carmen looked at me and back to Spencer.

"You forgot to feed the lizard again." Spencer rightfully punched her shoulder. I brushed the comment off with strange ease. I promised Spencer I'd try to get along with Carmen and I would. No matter how difficult it was. Though, TRY was still the key word.

"Would you trust me?" Spencer asked, leading me by the hand down the dock with a blind fold over my eyes. I don't exactly understand what she was doing, only that I was uneasy about the whole thing.

"If you're leading me to my execution..." I growled only half jokingly. She scoffed

"If I was leading you to your execution, I'd get a giant stadium in Greece with a Caesar impersonator. Then I'd dress up like Xena and save you." She kissed my cheek and helped me into what I assumed was a boat considering how the floor wobbled when I stepped in.

"You're the biggest dork I've ever met."

"And you love me for it."

"Never said I didn't."

"True." She sat me down carefully and then started the engine and drove through the water. After roughly ten minutes or so, we stopped. The warm summer breeze ruffled my hair.

"Spencer, can I take this stupid thing off now?" I asked, tugging at the thing over my eyes.

"Patients Ashley, patients." She said softly, moving around the boat quickly and moving things around with small clanks. I could smell the forests and crisp water around us, felt small waves rocking us soothingly. "Alright" she said suddenly, putting a CD in the CD player before uncovering my eyes.

We were out in the calmer part of the lake, the lake reflecting the setting sun. The sky was a beautiful redish pink colour with cotton candy clouds. Faux candles decorated the boats floor in various corners, adding soft light to the beautiful setting. "Spencer" I gasped looking around. "Oh my god...Spencer!" she smirked and grasped a wine bottle with two glasses. "Spencer I can't drink wine" I murmured as she began pouring the red liquid into the glasses, still in awe at the scene around us. To top it all off, one of my dad's slow songs was playing in the background.

"I know." She said and handed me the glass.

"Then why...?"

"It's cranberry juice." She said, a mixture of embarrassment and amusement showed in her voice. "I thought it might ruin the mood if I brought along a giant plastic jug, so I emptied one of Kendall's wine bottles and filled it with cranberry juice." I nearly spat out my drink.

"One of KENDALL's wine bottles?"

"What Kendall doesn't know can't hurt me." She said with a lopsided smile and sat next to me on the two person seat, gazing out at the sunset. Spencer sipped her 'wine' casually and smiled at me. But it didn't reach her eyes.

"Spence," she looked away "Spencer, baby talk to me. What's wrong?" she shook her head slightly.

"It's nothin' Ash, I'm just worrying about nothing."I scoffed.

"Yeah ok. Truth Spencer. No more secrets, no more lies remember?" She nodded slowly.

"what if...what if the baby doesn't like me?" She said in a voice barely above a whisper, not meeting my eyes. I stared at her and blinked.

"What if the baby doesn't like you? Why wouldn't the baby like you?" she looked out at the water.

"What if I don't deserve to be happy, after everything I've done..." I caught her chin in my hand and turned her towards me.

"Spencer Carlin, I don't want to hear you talk like that ever, ever again. You, more than anyone else on this entire earth deserve to be happy." I kissed her forehead. "I love you so much you stupid girl." She smiled slightly, nuzzling me.

"And I love you, you flamboyant rock star." She set her drink down and pulled me to my feet. Her hands rested on my waist and my arms around her neck. "Do you ever get the feeling something's between us?" she asked, looking down at my large stomach and smiling tenderly.

"God, I'm so huge." I mumbled, staring at the large bump keeping nearly a foot away from me.

"You're perfect." I smiled as she kissed my lips, her arms pulling me a little closer. As soon as things started getting even more perfect, the sound of a second engine nearing us and the howls of a couple shirtless guys made us break apart.

"Hey babes" the first surfer guy said, his foot resting up on the side of his brand new tournament ski boat. "Your boat outta gas or somethin'?" I ran my fingers gently over Spencer's arms as she instinctually stepped in front of me.

"No, we're fine thanks."

"looks like you're having a party" the second one grinned, noting all the candles and bottle on the boat's floor. "We like parties."

"Well you can..." she trailed off, something on the left had caught her attention.

"Speechless are ya darlin'" Spencer snapped back to reality

"Sit down Ashley" she warned and I did what I was told.

"eh! Where you goin?"

"home you moronic kid! Look!" she pointed to the giant, rather pissed off looking rain cloud hovering nearby. A look of fear crossed the boys' faces. They started up the engine and hit the gas at the same time we did.

"Spencer? Spencer what's going on?" I asked, the fear coming off of her made my insides twist into knots. "Why are you so afraid of a rain cloud?" She didn't turn to look at me, the boat jumped a few times as it hit the waves coming towards us from the rougher side of the lake.

"That's no ordinary rain cloud Ash!" she yelled over the roar of the engine, the wind shrieked as it whipped against her face. "That's a summer storm! We get those more commonly at the end of summer when it's the hottest! When the water evaporates from the lake on hot days like this sometimes the evaporated water gets stuck low down and creates a storm like that one!"

"Why are we running!"

"It's going to bring winds strong enough to uproot trees and break windows! We have to get back to Carmen and Kendall before it hits so we can board up the cabin!" She reached for my hand and squeezed it gently, for my comfort or hers I couldn't be sure. "We're going to be alright Ash! I promise!"

When we docked back home it was obvious that Kendall and Carmen had been watching the news. The entire front of the cabin had been boarded up; Carmen seemed to be gathering more planks. "Spencer!" Kendall yelled the wind was already ripping through the small channel, yanking my half-sister's hair to one side. "We're trying our best to get this place secured but we're running out of planks!" Spencer hesitated once she had me out of the boat, glancing around.

"Get Ashley inside! Tell Carmen to bring a lot of fire wood inside, as well as an axe! I'll handle the rest!" Kendall nodded and wrapped one arm around my waist, hurrying me towards the only entrance into the small shelter. The sky had turned an angry grey-blue, the waters splashed and churned turning from light green to a dark, hateful colour. My sister led me up the steps and inside before shutting the door behind us. The sudden quiet was weird, it was like inside was an entirely different world than outside. The day that started out perfectly had ended with disaster. Now, instead of relaxing and getting away from the big city, we were in a possibly life threatening situation. And, to make matters worse, a strange feeling filled me, making my brows furrow in thought.

"Ashley...?" Kendall looked at me, "are you alright?" I blinked a few times before answering.

"Kendall...I think..." I placed my hand on my stomach "I think my water just broke."

**Oh ho! A cliffhanger! Well, golly-G! What a surprise! Uh...please don't kill me. Please?**

**NEXT TIME ON LIFE AFTER DEATH:**

**What could get worse than the situation the four women are in now? You'd be surprised. Very, very surprised.**


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